Friday, December 28, 2007

The last Meme of the year...

Culled from RPP’s Blog, just before Melinda tagged me for it anyway…

The 2007 meme- What you do is take the first sentence of the first post of each month for the whole year… doing so will cause you to see some great revalation and enlighten your way into being one with the bloggosphere or something. I don’t know. It still sounded cool, though… so here goes:

January- Apparently, we have a bit of a situation here in southeast louisiana... the entire half of the state is slowly sliding into the gulf of Mexico like a very lazy avalanche.

February- Culled from the Back Porch: The Thursday Thresome is a weekly meme of three silly but related questions... enjoy!

March- WARNING: This blog entry may not be suitable for children. Parental discretion is advised.

April- As many of you know, it is one of my lifelong goals to pull off a sensational hoax.

May- Over on Trading Up, I am off to a rousing start in my quest for a boat, and I couldn't be happier.

June- A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.

July-This clip is enough to make me buy this product immediately, and a box for everyone I know.

August- I’ve got a fever that only a Play-Doh Cowbell can cure.

September- Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year.

October- I hate being sick.

November- For those of you that don't know, November is National Blog Posting Month.

December- I did it!!!!

My Great revelation: I joke around a lot.

Wait, that’s no revelation. I feel gypped. :(

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Fun with photoshop...

A few people have asked me about the photoshop web site I mentioned last week, Worth 1000. Specifically, they wanted to know what kind of stuff I have produced for their contests...

the first one I entered was "stained glass 3" which was to create a stained glass window you'd never see in a church... I like the way it came out, but I don't think I got the face to look glassy enough. The next one was "out of their environment" for which I put a cow on a glacier...
The next one I entered was "soap bubble world" which had you replace any element of an image with a soap bubble... the hot air balloon seemed an obvious choice...

The most recent one I entered asked you to add extra limbs or appendages to any image, thus the giraffapede:I have more, but Blogger only lets me post so much at a time... I think I've gotten better over time, tho...


Optimus Prime!
Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Although I would have been more psyched if I was Gigantor...

How dumb am I?

Like, I'm real dumb. Totally!

Quoth the web quiz: "If you're lucky, your abject stupidity will become the stuff of legend. For decades to come, people will recall how you ran into a lamppost at your cousin's barbecue, or how you brought the world to the brink of nuclear war by peeing into Jiang Zemin's bidet.

Not that you know who Jiang Zemin is. Or what a bidet is. Fool."
Insert obligatory potatoe reference here
How Dumb Are You?
A Rum and Monkey stupidity.


I'm Joshua Abraham Norton, the first and only Emperor of the United States of America!
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

I really wish I could say I'm surprised...

We interrupt this broadcast....

For the following Movie Trailer.

I am so there.

Monday, December 24, 2007

A very geeky Christmas- part 12- Norad tracking santa...

For those of you that don't know, NORAD tracks Santa's trip around the world using the latest satellite technology to follow Rudolph's nose. Short Stuff and I have been checking on his progress every few hours, but when we saw that St, Nick had hit Mexico, we decided that Short stuff and Pint size needed to be in bed.

For those of you that have never heard the story, a department store in Colorado accidentally printed a NORAD phone number as a "Santa hot line" one holiday season. As a result, hundreds of kids called NORAD instead of the recording the store had set up. Rather than be grumpy about it, the NORAD staff told each child that called that they were tracking Santa's sleigh, and it was heading their way soon. NORAD volunteers have done the same thing every year since.

Now, I have a date on the sofa with Silverfox and some egg nog while we watch the fire burn low... But to all that read these words, May your Christmas find you wherever you are, and may you have as much Joy and Peace this holiday season as you desire.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

A very geeky Christmas- part 11- Klingon Christmas carols...

Just so you know, the University of Saint Paul, Minnesota did s complete adaptation of "a Christmas Carol" in Klingon this year... But in the pots title, I really mean Christmas Carols that Klingons would sing.

The Klingon Christmas Song
("Chestnuts roasting on an open fire....")

Phasers flashing in the depths of space,
Ripping up an airtight hull;
Signs of fear on you enemy's face,
And life-support signs reading null!
Ev'rybody knows a Romulan's a spineless foe
Who lacks the Klingon will to fight!
Phaser beams set his torso aglow --
He'll find it hard to breathe tonight!

He knows that Gowron's on his way
And soon he'll be the object of the verb "to slay"!
And ev'ry slinking Rom and Pakled spy
Will soon be the subject of the verb "to die"!

And so, I'm offering this simple threat
To Feds, and all those Cardies, too:
You'll be as dead as a life-form can get --
Merry Christmas to you!

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Klingon Beast of Burden
Translated by Nick Nicholas

ghIch Doq ghaj wa' 'er *ru'Dov*.
bochqu' ghIchDaj 'e' vIDIS.
chaq 'ervam leghchugh neH vay',
"wewqu' ghIchvam" jatlhu'nIS.
HaghtaH 'ej reH luvaqtaH
'ermey latlh Hoch, bejtaHDI'.
'er Quj vay' jeS-choH *ru'Dov*,
chIch reH 'e' lu-tuch naSwI'!

qaSSI' *QISmaS* 'eng ram nung,
'a jatlh *SantatlhoS*:
"ghIch wewqu'wI' ru'DovwIj,
DujwIj'e' DaHjaj HIchIj!"

tugh jupDaj DachoH 'ermey.
Quchqu'choH 'ej jach 'er Hoch:
"ghIch Doq Daghajbogh *ru'Dov*,
quv'a'lIj'e' not wItlhoch!"

Saturday, December 22, 2007

A very geeky Christmas- part 10- the Star Wars holiday special

I have been a Geeky Christmas guy for a very long time. While moving into the new digs, I came across my "Christmas in the stars" album. It was a record of Star-Wars themed christmas songs like the immortal "What do you buy a wookie when he already has a comb?". I don't really know what disturbed me more... the fact that I had this album or the fact that it was on Compact Disc.

I'll just let that sink in for a minute...

The other great Geek Christmas memory I have is the "Star Wars Christmas Special" that only aired once in 1978. I remember it vividly, but it was never re-released (Lucas was embarrassed by it). Fortunately, through the magic of the internet and Youtube...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A Very Geeky Christmas.... Part 9- Geeky Christmas Movies

From my favorite photoshop contest site, Worth 1000... Christmas Movies I would soooo be there for...

A Very Geeky Christmas.... Part 8- Geeky christmas carols

I'll be Cloned for Christmas

(To The Tune "I'll be Home for Christmas")

I'll be Cloned for Christmas,
There’ll be three of me;
One to Work, and One to Shop,
And One just for Parties.

Christmas Eve, I'm certain,
I won't be alone;
I'll be home for Christmas,
Or else I'll send a Clone!

Happily addicted to the Web

(To The Tune of "Winter Wonderland")

Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
I'm happy -- although
My boss let me go --
Happily addicted to the Web.

All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week,
Happily addicted to the Web!

Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man!
Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"

With a listless shrug, I mutter "No, man;
I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!"

I don't phone, don't send faxes,
I just play WOW, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday, they drag me away?
I’m happily addicted to the Web

I'm happily addicted to the Web!
Happ-ily, ad-dict-ed to the Web!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Friday, December 14, 2007

A Very Geeky Christmas.... Part 3

For those of you that may be confused, I found the following diagram on the internet...Now, I will be visiting houses between now and Christmas to make sure that the trees are up to specs....

A Very Geeky Christmas.... Part 2

I came across a NASA interview with Santa, where he discusses expansion of his Christmas Eve run to other planets in our solar system.

(Sorry for the brevity of posts lately, still a little burnt out from NaBloPoMo.)

A Very Geeky Christmas.... Part 1

For all my New Orleans gamer friends, I came across Mr. Bingle's D&D specs...

Tiny Fey

HD: 1d6 (3 hp)
Initiative: +6 (+3 Dex, +4 Improved Initiative)
Speed: 20 ft., fly 40 ft. (good)
AC: 14 (+1 size, +3 Dex, +1 natural)
Attacks: Snowball +5 melee (slam 1d4 x HD)
Face/Reach: 5 ft x 5 ft
Special Attacks: Hypnotize, Pleasant Warmth, Numbing Chill
Special Qualities: Ice Shape, Snow Patch, Water Form, Resistance to Cold
Saves: Fort +0, Refl +5, Will +3
Abilities: Str 7, Dex 16, Con 11, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 17
Skills: Animal Empathy +7, Bluff +8, Craft (any one) +5, Hide +10*,
Listen +7, Perform (ice flute) +7, Search +3, Sense Motive +5, Spot +7
Feats: Dodge, Point Blank Shot (snowball)
Climate/Terrain: Any cold/snow
Organization: Solitary, gang (2-4), band (6-11), or tribe (20-80)
CR: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral Good (usually)
Advancement: 2 HD (small), 3-5 HD (medium-size)
, 6 HD (large)

Bingles are sprites that dwell in cold climates and protect pristine
environments. They are not as reclusive as most fey, and are favored companions to
northern faerie creatures and arctic druids (i.e. familiars, protectors,
guides). While most bingles are commonly neutral good, or in a few cases
neutral, there have been unconfirmed reports of dark, neutral evil bingles.
A bingle has the appearance of a 1 ft. tall humanoid made of snow, whose
faerie wings are made of large holly leaves. The eyes of a bingle are turquoise
stones that lack pupils or lids, and the nose is a translucent ruby. Most
bingles prefer dark colored clothing, such as maroon vests and green tunics
(which are reluctantly discarded when trying to hide in snow). They often
wear hats, typically pointed, brown patchwork ones that have folded up edges.
Despite their cold nature, they are seldom without a pair of white mittens.
Most bingles are primarily vegetarian, but have been known to eat insects on
Despite their androgynous outward appearance, bingles have male and female
members of their race. Bingle society is typical of a sprite.

Bingles rely on their hypnotic flute playing to dissuade enemies from
attacking, entering combat usually to protect themselves or their territory. If
this fails, the bingle can choose to throw a snowball that does no damage, and
instead causes Pleasant Warmth. Desperate bingles can throw a powerful
snowball slam that causes 1d4 points of damage per HD level (of the attacking
bingle), and an Numbing Chill.
The life force of a bingle is tied to its ruby nose. It its nose should
ever be forcibly removed or crushed, the bingle dies within 2d4 minutes.
Damaging the wings of a bingle causes no damage to the creature´s hit point total,
and both regenerate their form as a percentage of 24 hours. For example,
wings torn in half (50%) reform in 12 hours, whereas plucked wings take 24 hours
to regrow.

Hypnotize (Su): When a bingle ice flute plays, any non-sprite within 30
feet of the instrument must succeed a Will save (DC 15) or be affected as
though by a hypnotize spell, as long as the playing continues.
Ice Shape (Su): Once a week a bingle can shape ice into any form it
desires, up to 1 cubic foot per HD.
Numbing Chill (Su): Following a snowball slam, the bingle can use this
ability to create a shivering, teeth-chattering, chilly feeling that engulfs
the target creature (up to size Large only). This muscle numbing attack
reduces Dexterity to 3 for 2d4 minutes. A Fortitude save (DC 15) is required to
avoid. If failed, a Constitution check is further required to avoid
frostbite (finger, toe, ear, or nose is lost).
Pleasant Warmth (Su): Following a successful snowball hit, the bingle can
use this ability to create a blissful, warm feeling that pacifies the target
creature. The blissful feeling causes the affected creature (up to size
Large only) to sit and do nothing for 1d4 minutes. The warmth aura protects the
target from cold (as the endure elements spell) for 2d4 minutes. A Will save
(DC 15) is required to avoid.
Resistance to Cold (Ex): A bingle ignores the first 10 points damage
of a cold attack.
Snow Patch (Su): This ability allows a bingle to heal half of the damage of
inflicted upon its person, simply by applying snow to its wounds (requires 1
Water Form (Su): This ability allows a bingle to reshape its body into an
amorphous water form for 1 minute per hit point, equivalent to a water
elemental of the same HD as the bingle.
Skills: Bingles receive a +5 racial bonus to Hide checks while in a
snow-covered environment (presuming not wearing clothes).

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Party on, silvefox.

here we see silverfox teaching a little girl how to line dance. My baby is apparently quite adept at 'strokin'. I could make the obvious dirty joke here, but she'd kill me.

Well that was anti-climactic.

while everyone was arguing about if they should turn out the lights, the guest of honor walked in another door. I have never seen anyone less surprised. His heart was never in any danger.

A good idea.

this is silverfox at a former co-workers birthday party. The man is a heart attack survivor, and it's a surprise party. Should be interesting.


I did it!!!! a post (or more) a day for the entire month! I'm bushed.