Overheard at the DMV...

Today, I had to go to the DMV to transfer the address of the Buick to our Kenner home. I had kept putting it off, but with Silverfoxes impending return to work looming, I realized I needed to get off my duff and return us to two-car family status. For some reason, I apparently picked the day that all of the high schoolers that just started their Driver's Ed course picked to get their learners permits. In Louisiana, the driving age starts at sixteen.

(I'm sorry, but having pubes should be a requirement to operate an automobile.)

Anyway, as I sat in the waiting room, I was privy to the following heartfelt exchange:

Dingy blond teenage girl: "I think I got one wrong. How far do you have to park from a railroad crossing?"

Her equally dingy friend checks the driver's manual: "fifty feet."

DBTG:"Fifty feet? How do they expect you to judge that?"

EDF:"I don't know."

DBTG:"Isn't that like, the length of a football field?"

EDF:"Like, I think that's fifty yards, not feet."

DBTG: "So, how far is it?"

EDF: "Well, there's three feet in a yard..."

DBTG: "So, three football fields? That's really far!"

EDF: "Yah... no one pays attention to that. People always park closer to the railroad than that."

DBTG: "What a stupid question."

All I could think of as I snickered and relayed the conversation to Silverfox via text message is that the Metro area schools have failed these girls, and our society is about to put both of them behind the wheel.

It's just not a party...

Without darth vader.

It's that time of year...

Ah, mardi gras time. Full of parades, crowds, and elephant grade peanuts.

Underdog Begins

I spent most of this morning creating this animation on a new website I discovered. it was a lot of fun, but Silverfox is really tired of the Underdog theme now... I may try a Star Trek one next.

GoAnimate.com: Underdog Begins


Like it? Create your own at GoAnimate.com. It's free and fun!

Spreading the love...

I made this for Silverfox as a Valentines day gift... She loved it, and I'm fairly proud of it.

A few Valentines Day Memes...

Today, Silverfox and I will be spending some quality time together. I decided to do a quick post just to spread the love, but don't want to take too much time from my lady. Enjoy the memes...

Your Valentine's Day Personality is Practical

As far as you're concerned, Valentine's Day is simply a commercial holiday. You don't place any real meaning on it. You don't think it deserves too much celebration. For you, Valentine's Day is just the day you avoid restaurants and candy stores. If you love someone, you already show it. You don't need to go all out for a silly holiday to prove your love.

What's Your Valentine's Day Personality?

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Paging Dr. Love...

Last night, we wound up making another trip to children's hospital because Pint Size was having a bit of respiratory distress after his surgery. It seems that one of the many wonderful mutations that kids with Downs get to live with is a narrow esophagus. He's fine now, as they pumped him up with a weeks worth of steroids and a bit of epinephrine. Still, this ER trip wasn't without its entertainment value... the on duty pediatrician last night was one Andrew Love, M.D.

That's right kids... Pint Size was being healed by Doctor Love.

I kept trying not to snicker, especially when the doc had to stick Pint Size with a needle, and my brain kept screaming at me "My boy is getting a shot from Dr. Love three days before Valentine's day!!! Bwah-hah-ha!!!" Every time Silverfox asked me to go find the man, a chorus of Motley Crue's "Calling Dr. Love" strted playing in my head over and over again.

I couldn't help before they discharged us to tell the good Doctor that I imagined he takes a great deal of ribbing for his name this time of year... he just grinned and replied "Yeah... I won't work on Valentines day."

Again with the hospital...

Pint size was in the hospital again today to have tubes put in his ears. Apparently, one of the reasons he hasn't started talking yet is because he couldn't hear properly. Our doctor says it happens to 98 percent of kids with downs.

Strange dreams indeed...

This post is dedicated to the queen of weird dreams, my pal Stacey.

The other night, my loving wife fed me a meatloaf sandwich in bed to make up for the fact that she was making me sit through "RuPaul's Drag Race" before bedtime. It is a sad fact that if Silverfox has one weakness, it is for cheesy reality shows featuring drag queens being catty to one another. Me, I couldn't care less which dude looks more like a chick, and I fell asleep thinking about how Pint Size needed his school uniforms washed the next day.

My subconcious (as anyone who has slept in my vacinity will tell you) is notorious for being suggestable when I'm sleeping. The combination of drag queens, meatloaf, and my worries about my youngest son led to a dream that kind of looked like the following:

In the dream, Pint Size was a contestant on the show, and came toddling down the runway in front of RuPaul and his/her judges in a lovely blue chiffon dress. He paused for a moment at the end of the runway and yelled "DA DA DA-DA DA!" at them before toddling right back. Sadly, Pint size got eliminated at the end of the show, and started crying loudly when RuPaul told him to "sashay away" for good.

When I woke up the next morning, I set our DVR to record the RuPaul show for Silverfox, so she will never need to watch it in our bedroom again.

Sunday with the Cerios ...

My typical sunday morning starts with the boys demanding breakfast. Here we see them fighting on our bed till i agree to feed them.

Recliner thief...

Here, we see pint size mocking daddy by stretching out on my easy chair. The kid is doing proud the tradition of a long line of couch potatoes.

I just made 39 trips around the sun....

...and boy, are my arms tired.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is my birthday. Longtime readers of my blog are probably asking themselves some burning questions right now, such as "What? It's Robbie Gras time again? Where's the hype? Where are the parades? The annual Robbie Gras Ball? The Robbie Gras bobble head dolls?"

Well, readers... the sad truth is that I'm kinda ambivalent to my birthday this year... with everything else going on around me, (Sick kids, surgeries, joblessness, etc...) it seems kinda frivolous somehow to make a big deal out of it this time.

Of course, there's always next year :)

Some funny on a wednesday...

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, ''I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip.''

The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, ''Follow me.''

The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.

''Thanks so much,'' says the theatergoer, ''This seat is perfect.'' He then hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, ''The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick.''

Life lessons from TV...

One of the things I find myself putting a lot of thought into lately is what TV shows are appropriate for a six year old like Short Stuff. Generally, I try to keep him away from anything that involves a bullet riddled death scene or two. As a result, he's not allowed to watch a lot of the shows I love, such as Battlestar Galactica, Heroes, and Chuck.

I also however, have decided to make exceptions to this rule upon occasion... For those of you that may have missed it, Last night's episode of Chuck was in 3D, so I decided to let the kid watch it with us:

I mean, come on... It's in 3D for crying out loud! Sure, there's a little more sexiness than he's used to seeing on Spongebob, and Casey on the whole is way more violent than the Muppets generally are, but 3D TV in HD!!

This turned out to be a bit of a mistake. At one point in the episode, Chuck gets trapped in a hotel suite with two hot chicks that undress him, and then try to kill him by throwing knives at him.

This scene unexpectedly turned out to be a little more intense than Short Stuff could handle. At the next commercial break, he took off his 3D glasses and curled up into the corner of the couch.

"You okay, kiddo?" I asked.

"I'm scared." Short Stuff said, "Those women with the knives are scary. Why did they try to kill him?"

"Because they're strangers." I said, ad-libbing, "Let that be a lesson to you... never let women you don't know take you to a hotel to take your pants off."

"Because they will throw knives at me?"

"That's right."

"Women are evil."

Silverfox chimed in at this.... "Nice. You're turning our son off of women. Great job, 'father of the year'."

"Shush. The point isn't that women are evil, Short Stuff... the point is that you shouldn't trust strangers."

"Especially strangers that try to take my pants off?"

"That's right."

"Or they will throw knives at me?"

"Not always, but it's still a bad idea."

"Can I go play on the computer now?"

(Sigh)"Sure."

Everyone needs more silverfox...

Today, silverfox and i went to breakfast at the fat hen grill. Above, you see her wondering why i would take pictures of this event. I told her because she's adorable while picking out food.

Too cool for school.

Short stuff was up to some risky business this morning. His joke of the day: why did the cow turn on the tv? To see a mooovie.

Holy Nerdgasm, Batman!

This year's Super Bowl was full of nerderrific Movie Trailers... (which you can catch here if you're some kinda communist and missed the big game) Of them, I really nerded out at the GI JOE and STAR TREK trailers. The new Enterprise emptying her photon torpedo bays looked fraking awesome, and I gotta admit that the idea of Cobra felling the Eiffel tower just warmed my heart.

Honorable mentions need to go out to the shot of what I can only assume is Devastator from the Transformers trailer, and the awsome three-deeness of the Monsters vs Aliens trailer. Totally worth the extra trip to the grocery store for the glasses.

Gonna be a great summer to be a geek.