Bipedal Locomotion...

As many of you know already, I lead a pedestrian lifestyle. Not in the “boring” sense mind you, but I don’t own a car, nor do I feel I really need one. I live in Algiers Point which is just a stone’s throw across the mighty Mississippi river to New Orleans’ spectacular French Quarter, where I work. I walk six blocks to the ferry, which takes me across the river, and then walk another six blocks or so to work. My total commute time: 20 minutes. In the French quarter is also everything I need to get by in this city… A grocery store, a video store, bookstores, and the major public transportation artery should I need to get anywhere I can’t just walk to. It’s a great lifestyle, and all the walking I do keeps me pretty fit for a fat guy.

Still, there are those among us who wonder how on earth I could possibly get by without a car. To them I say this:

The Webkahunah’s top ten reasons it rocks not to have a car-

1) Those Geico commercials are a whole lot funnier when you don’t actually have to worry about switching car insurance.
2) If I find myself running out of fuel, I can just stop at any McDonalds, Which is far more entertaining than your average gas station.
3) The fluctuations in the price of gas due to the war in the middle east don’t bother me in the slightest
4) I can act smug around folks who drive SUV’s or pickup trucks. (Spanky, Fratnip, Dynoman, I’m looking at you!)
5) The only gas I need to worry about is the kind that comes after eating too much of Mrs. Spanky’s Salsa Sausage Mushroom Cheese Dip.
6) When going on long road trips, it’s never my car that breaks down in the middle of Alabama, where the tow truck driver is also the town plumber and the town mayor; and it’s never my girlfriend that has to offer the mechanic sexual favors to fix the damn starter. (True story! Potsie’s car and girlfriend!)
7) Being in touch with nature makes me get sick less. My body has a chance to adjust to climate change instead of going from heated house to cold outside to heated car to cold outside to heated workplace. If it’s cold outside, fine… my body adjusts.
8) It’s a lot easier to convince a woman to take a romantic walk with you if that’s really the only option.
9) No car to park means I never have to pay for parking.
10) Driving is a lot more special and fun when you don’t have to do it all the time.


This entry is dedicated to my buddy JavaFooFoo who recently lost her wheels and… Well, I’m sure she’ll write about it in her blog. Here for ya, FooFoo.