How to: Robbie Gras.

Well, to clarify some of the previous post, and for all my readers overseas that want to know how to hold their own Robbie Gras celebrations, I offer the following "how to" guide:

Robbie Gras for Dummies

Robbie Gras is normally celebrated on the 5th of February, or the nearest covienient saturday. The point is to celebrate the things in life that make it the most fun, those being Friends, Food, Drink, and good times. To this end, the absolute must have in any Robbie Gras celebration is the Robbie Gras ball.

While individual celebrations have varied over the years, the party should make use of a decent bar, good music, and whatever personnel is available at the time. In addition, there should be at least one good group activity available, be it "lets see how fast we can push someone down the hall in a shopping cart" or "a lecherous photo scavenger hunt".

It is also adviseable to have the following jobs filled for the evening, preferably by separate people.

Rob- Usually, a big guy whose sole purpose of the evening is to take my place at your celebration. He should wear a hawaiian shirt, and be as drunk as is safely possible. Any Robs can feel free to write me if they need advice on getting into charecter, but I find watching a tape of "Animal House" and modeling your behavior after Bluto will work just as well. Just don't accidentally watch "Popeye".

Beer Wench- A female wearing something low cut, whose job it is to fetch beer when instructed. Must chug a beer if she spills one.

Grope mistress- This is a new position, suggested to me a few years ago. Also a female, (but would be really funny if male) The grope mistress is primarily there to keep the beer wench from being groped. (So, get y'alls minds out of the gutter) The penalty for said gropeage is determined solely by the Grope mistress. The prefered costume is as much leather as possible, and a little sign worn over the butt that says "Grope mistress" purely for the entertainment value.(Yes, I am slightly evil.)

Chauffeur- An important part of any Robbie Gras celebration, the chauffeur is responsible for making sure that no one gets behind the wheel drunk, and that everyone has somewhere to crash if too intoxicated to do so. Must be formally attired, with one of those funny hats.

If your town celebrates Mardi Gras or some other form of Carnival, attending said event (be it parade or county fair) is a must, as is making spectacles of yourselves at said event, be it through "Robbie Gras" signage, costume, or just being loud and raucus.

Any questions?