Hallofest 08'... (Or how I learned to stop worrying about occupancy levels and love the party)

Well, joblessness and finances aside, Silverfox and I hosted our Halloween Party/Rock Band 2 Jam session on Saturday night, and it was freaking awesome, with lots of folks getting into the spirit of the evening, and imbibing the spirits of the evening as well. By my count, there were at least 25 people at any given time at our place throughout the night.

We four happy Cerios decided to do a family costume as the Village People... here we see me as the Biker, and Pint Size as the cowboy:

Silverfox was the construction worker, and Short Stuff was the Cop... I had to give the "Don't use the handcuffs on your brother or cousins" speech to him twice though... He was still happy, because he got to have a toy gun, and a nightstick to beat people with. (sigh...)

Ringo and his Wife came over early to give us a much needed hand setting up (for which we are eternally grateful) Ringo went full-on with our theme, and came as the zombie of Kurt Cobain:

And Sondra came as Angus Young:

Both of whom looked really awesome. Sadly, Silverfox didn't get a shot of the back of Ringo's wig, where she made a totally realistic gaping head wound out of hot glue and makeup. My wife is apparently quite the whiz at making people look dead. (who knew?)

Before long, our other guests started arriving... including Timmy as a rather convincing Jim Morrison:

And Dave as Prince:

Prince only did 2 songs and left, (as he is wont to do) leaving behind a rather confused Keith Moon. Some say it was just that Dave couldn't pull off the "formally known as" persona for an entire night... I say it's just because Dave realized it was a lot more fun to play Keith Moon. In fact, Dave and I spent about 30 minutes in the kitchen trying to "out-Keith-Moon" each other with made up stories of trashing hotels and what a bitch Roger Daltrey can be. Neither of us could find it in our hearts to speak ill of Pete Townsend though. (He lost his hearing for your rock and roll sins, people... show some respect.)

The ones that truly stole the show though, had to be the Spiehlers as Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne: Yes, ladies and gentlemen... that is Drew as Sharon (complete with little fluffy dog and screechy voice) and Stacey as "the f'ing prince of darkness". At some point, Stacey pointed at Drew and asked Short Stuff if he knew who it was... Short Stuff without hesitation replied "That's Ace's Mom!" and the ensuing laughter nearly cracked our windows.

Rick and Angie looked fantastic as Ike and Tina:

But I'm still wondering where the hell he got that 70's leisure suit.

Cutest kid of the night, I have to admit wasn't one of ours... but was Silverfoxes godson Little Joe as a punk rocker:He kept getting up in front of everyone playing Rock Band and jamming away with his little plastic guitar.

Thank you to all that got into the spirit and turned out and helped out for this one (I know I'm leaving out so many of you)... it was truly a night to remember. I think Stacey put it best over on her blog, where she wrote "You ever have one of those nights where you smile so much that your face hurts?"

Dave's already talking about putting together a cover of us all singing "Do they know it's Christmas" for a YouTube video before this Christmas. I am so there.

School spirit week for Short Stuff:-)

So we invested in a propeller beanie for funny hat day. Adorable, ain't he?

The ecomomic crisis comes home...

For those of you that haven't heard, Today I lost my job at Joval, and move into the ranks of the unemployed. The worst part of it is that it came as a bit of a shock... I hadn't done anything wrong, per se... it was just that times are rough, and the company decided that they needed to scale their office staff back. It was all fairly amicable... although it seemed to me like they were just waiting for me to screw up the computer system or do something equally vindictive while I was cleaning out my desk. I even offered to do some graphic design work for them as an outside contractor once I've had a chance to cool off.

I may still be in shock or something, but I'm not really all that upset about this.

I drove home the long way so I would have a little time to myself, and I got to thinking... this whole thing might turn out to be a really good thing... I mean, I liked my job... but there were days I dreaded going to it. It probably wasn't the best fit for me, especially now that my priorities have changed since meeting and then marrying Silverfox.

Fact is that we had been worried ablut the child care situation with Silverfoxes impending back surgery, and that's not a problem if I'm not having to go to work every day... Unemployment doesn't pay that much less than I had been making, so financially, we're in pretty good shape right now. I'm on Silverfoxes insurance plan, and I have free time while the kids are in school to work on getting some of my writing sold.

The truth of it is, I had already been having issues with our lifestyle, and this gives us a chance to come up with a whole new paradigm... one that will allow either me or Silverfox to devote more time to the kids.

I'm still a little worried... but I really think that this is going to turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

I gots the mad pumpkin carving skills:-)

Tonight, short stuff and I carved pumpkins in what i hope will become an annual event. I think we did pretty good, even if he did insist that i loudly say "ewww" every time I put my hand inside it. :)

As the Party nears...

Silverfox is going nuts trying to get everything just right for her big Rock Band Halloween party. (also known as Hallowfest 08') but she is only one woman, and there are a lot of songs for her to unlock in RB2 before the party starts. It doesn't help that we were all sick earlier this week... she posted the following on her blog for those inclined to help her make Hallowfest the most rocktacular night ever:

Please post to volunteer to bring something and text me as the kids are monopolizing the computer as we desperately try to unlock as many songs as possable before party time...

This is the drink stash...If what you want is missing... bring it... I cannot guarantee the root beer, coke, or diet coke will last as that is all I have in the house and I don't get paid again till halloween.

This is the contents of the bar... 2 photos... Rob may choose not to open un-opened bottles...(note from Rob-Yeah, Right! I fully intend on getting my buzz on!) I can't drink right now cause of meds... we will need ice... we do have a blender for margarittas...

I need to borrow someone's food processor... mine died making hummus for Angie's party... I would like to make some for my own party... this would be needed ahead of time no later than an hour before the party at least... I would be grateful...

Plastic utencils are needed and bowls... I am making jambalaya... just a filler food...

I couldn't find the Lime sherbert or the lime aid when i had the money for the party signature drink... so if someone would like to volunteer to bring that... we can have yoda soda...

If someone wants to make the party meatballs/cocktail sausages... we will accept...

We will accept potato salad...and we need chips, dips and crackers (all I have are saltines)

I am also making chicken salad and deviled eggs

I do already have...

but I fear that I don't have nearly enough fog juice to last for 30 min... so if someone could pick up a jug... i will sign an IOU...

Well, there ya go, folks... anyone that wants to help the love of my life out on this one, it would sure be appreciated. Call or text us if you do, and know that I will officially owe you one :)

After his bathroom fun...

Pint size decides to get some practice time in on Rock band 2 in preparation for saturday's party.

Pint size is such a goober.

Last night, pint size worked out how to turn the bathroom doorknob. We found him in this comprimising position a few minutes later.

Rock and Roll kootchie-coo...

Dave reported over on his blog that Prince may not be in evidence at our Rock Band Halloween party, but instead the event would be attended by a KISS cover band comprised entirely of midgets known as the "love guns"... little did he know how close truth is to his comedy, as my research has found not one but TWO midget/dwarf KISS cover bands.

That's right... Midgets that dress like kiss are on the verge of having a tiny KISS army of their very own.

The first, known as MiniKISS claims to be the first ones to have the idea of a midget KISS cover band:Their rivals are known as Tiny KISS, and apparently the two get into regular fights about who was indeed the first.You can't make this stuff up people, although apparently Dave tried to.

I would watch out if I were you, Dave... these little glam rockers seem to take themselves pretty seriously, and I have no desire to see our Halloween party picketed by Midgets dressed like KISS.

Oh, and Dave... next time you need publicity stills for the "Love Guns" hype machine, come to the master:

Disillusionment and Evidence? at Oak Alley Plantation

This weekend found Silverfox and myself in the rare position of having both no kids and no plans. The kids were with their respective bio-dads, and we simply had nothing planned, so we decided to do a little ghost hunting/debunking... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Last Wednesday, the Sci-fi Channel aired an episode of Ghost Hunters where the TAPS team went to the Oak Alley plantation in Vachiere, LA. It isn't very often that they do an episode that's in my proverbial backyard, and that I have a decent knowledge of the layout of. As I watched the show, and their "evidence" mounted I found myself thinking that TAPS wasn't doing a very good job of looking for the non-paranormal explanation. In particular, there was one scene where Jason says he sees a flash of light move past the window, I was sure that that window he was looking out faced River Road.

But I wasn't sure... it had been years since the last time I had been there, and I could be wrong. When I asked Silverfox what she thought, I was surprised to find that she had never been there. So, With a full tank of gas and no young'uns we headed up River Road this past weekend with the notion of putting TAPS to the test.

By my list, the evidence presented by TAPS amounted to the following:

1) Moving shadows seen outside the house on the verandas.
2) A thermal hit in the master bedroom.
3) Cold Spots.
4) a flashlight turning on by itself.
5) an Electromagnetic Field spike on the first floor.
6) a "EVP" of a clanking noise.
7) The flash of light seen outside by Jason

While on the way up to the plantation, Silverfox an I talked about the episode, and realized that with the Air Conditioning on in the house, (as evidenced by TAPS own thermal evidence) any unfamiliar draft could be a cold spot, and if the A/C was on, it was generating an EM field intermittently throughout the night. this would easily explain 3 and 5... possibly number 6 as well. (the thermostat in our house makes an audible click when it kicks on) #2 was probably a reflection of one of the investigators against the thick glass in that room. We would concentrate on the shadows, the flash of light, and the flashlight.

Silverfox and I arrived at Oak Alley around 4pm. We decided to do the tour because she had never done it before, and we were hoping it would give us a chance to hear some of the stories for ourselves. We waited in the shade of the house while waiting for it to start, and Silverfox started taking some pictures...

I love this next Picture... Silverfox calls it "Big Tree, Little Rob":
One thing that struck me as we were waiting for the tour that I had not remembered from my previous visits is that a few of the trees practically brush the house.
Could the local wildlife be responsible for the movement TAPS saw on the Verandas? Definitely a possibility. There are also smaller trees just beyond the veranda on the east side of the house that could move easily in a breeze. In the darkness, and through the wavy leaded glass of the old house, it could easily be mistaken for something moving on the veranda itself.

As our tour started, the first thing we realized is that the Producers of Ghost Hunters got a lot of their history wrong, and that the tour that the TAPS guys were given left out some of the most interesting parts of the house. (Our guide freely admitted all this... apparently it stuck in her craw a bit.) We were also told that there was no photography allowed in the house, but that didn't stop Silverfox from snapping pics whenever she had the opportunity. Things of note on our tour:

The plantation owners would have a slave stay up all night to guard the sleeping children from the local wildlife which would come in through the open windows. The wildlife includes opossums, raccoons, and other climbers. Any one of these are curious enough to look in a window...

The floors are a little spongy in the lavender room (where the flashlight incident was) and transfer vibration well. If the flashlight was rigged to light up at the slightest touch (as Grant says it was in this episode) any flexing of the floor would cause it to come on. this would also explain why the light goes off as Jason approaches it.

The room that Jason saw the flash of light in does indeed face River Road, and on a weird enough angle that it would not be immediately obvious that it was the headlights of a southbound vehicle.

One of the rooms TAPS missed was used to hold wakes for the recently dead. Talk about a missed opportunity.

In short, TAPS did some shoddy work on this one, and I was really disappointed... for all the good TAPS has done popularizing the field of paranormal investigations, they seemed to have missed some pretty obvious stuff for ratings. We left feeling that while the plantation may indeed be haunted... the Ghost Hunters had failed to provide any evidence of this.

We however, had better luck.

When I had the chance to review the pictures Silverfox had snapped, I found that my lovely wife had actually captured two anomalies in the master bedroom. Keep in mind, I have not doctored these photos in any way... The first anomaly I spotted in this picture:
There is an unaccounted for blue light in the middle of the picture next to the dress. I've enhanced the area in this photo:It's not a glare or a reflection as near as I can tell, and I threw every filter at it I could think of in Photoshop to try to explain it/eliminate it. I also went back and reviewed her other pictures taken in the room to try to find the source, and to my surprise found a second anomaly in this picture, near the crib:

here is the same photo focused on the area in question:
Again blue, again unexplainable, and almost exactly the same height off the floor. I'm not saying it's a ghost... but it's definitely something.

Cerio Family Paranormal Investigators: 1, TAPS: 0.

The up side of an economic slump:)

Tis the season....

To talk about politics, apparently... over on the io9 science fiction blog there's a great article comparing Sarah Palin to Hillary Clinton, in terms of Palin being representitive of all things Star Wars, and Hillary representing all things Star Trek. It's a pretty-funny-but-makes-you-think read.

Lousy Photoshop work on that opening picture, though... I may have to try to produce a better one if I have the time later. Still, the woman that produced it probably gets paid for her worrk, where I get exactly bubkiss for mine. There's injustice for ya.

UPDATE: Had some extra time at work today to prove my point... compare mine to the one at the link above:

In the interests of equal time...

I recently came across the following picture of Obama, as painted by my favorite comic artist, Alex Ross:

A very cool picture of SuperO, I think... so I looked for a similar picture of McCain for comparison, and much to my surprise, I could find none.

Comic Book Artists seem to be a Liberal, cowardly lot.

Anyway, in the interests of being fair, I applied my photoshop skills to creating this superheroic image of McCain, filling in the superhero gap as it were:

To be honest, I think that Senator McCain has way more super hero cred than Obama ever will. He's got the cool origin story, (captured and tortured by the enemies of America... chose to fight the good fight after witnessing man's inhumanity to man), He's got a super power (political career regeneration), and he's got a much cuter sidekick:Yes, I know she should probably be dressed as Bucky Barnes, but she makes a much better Wonder Woman. I also thought for a second about photoshopping a picture of Joe Lieberman as Robin, but thought better of it right away.

So, who am I voting for? Not entirely sure yet, but I'm leaning toward McCain because it seems to me that the man makes better decisions than Obama does, and that's really what being president is all about. Experience doesn't really matter because no job can adequately prepare you for being president, so I guess I'm okay with Palin, too. If McCain's health became a factor, she would be surrounded by people McCain picked anyway. I also remember McCain having a really good sense of humor back when he ran in 2000, and it means a lot to me to think that the Commander in Chief of our nation can take a joke.

Fun with photoshop and Pint Size...

For those of you that haven't heard yet, Silverfox is planning a Halloween/ Rock Band 2 jam session party on October 25th, where she encourages everyone to dress as their favorite dead (or alive) rock star. She asked me to make some invitations to this event, and I decided to alter some pictures of the kids to use on the invites. After all, I really set the bar kind of high with the wedding invitations...

I started with the following picture of Pint Size:

Cute, isn't he? So, in keeping with the rock and roll theme of the party, I changed him into his true self... a member of the KISS army since 2005:
Yeah, he wants to Rock and Roll all night, alright.

To accomplish this effect, I had to airbrush out his bangs though... and I looked at it and thought "Boy, he looks like a Vulcan!" Leading to this pic:
Once you start on these things, it's really tough to stop... Here he is as a Klingon:
No Melinda, he still can't say "Q'uplah".

Then I said to myself "Hey, wouldn't Pint Size make a cute unstoppable killing machine from the future?":
Yeah... I have way too much time on my hands at work...

A book meme... tagged by Lauren...

* Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
* Tag five other people to do the same

"Be Prepared. Have a pre-determined plan and necessary supplies. Turn on soft music, watch a funny video, or meditate.
Comforting Children: Children experience relief if adults have taken reasonable precautions to protect them from harm. Adults should manage their own anxiety."

Excerpt from "The real yellow pages", specifically, their hurricane and severe weather planner section.

By the powers invested in me, I hereby tag:
Silverfox
brouhahah
Drew
Java Foo Foo
dreamwalker

Yarr.... it be that time o' the year, matey....

Arrrr! Today be talk like a pirate day. Much thanks to Mama Janet fer pointin out the fact, or I probably would have forgotten it, like the landlubber I am.

As many of you are frightfully aware, tis my tradition t'tell a funny or interestin' story from my briny past in the style of a pirate on this happiest of days...

This one be the tale of a devil of a storm called Gustav, which caused me and mine t'run fer the hills lest we be sent to the bottom of Davey Jones' locker. Durin our voyage into the heart of Mississippi, me beauty, (Silverfox), and our boy, (Short Stuff) were fallin victim to a sense of dread that only sailors feel as they leave port fer the last time.

To take their minds off of our perdicament, I told them to think "EGBAR".

"Egbar?" Me beauty asked, never hearing the term before, "What in the seven seas is egbar?"

"Tis an acronym, my sweet." I said, "Stands fer 'Everything is Gonna Be All Right'. Egbar!"

"Egbar!" Short Stuff shouted from the back seat in a merry voice.

"Egbar!" Silverfox agreed. And so we drove on inta the night.

Twas a longer voyage than we had figured to get to safe harbor that night, and as fatigue began to wrap its scurvey arms around me, I got snippy with Silverfox (about something that was of no consequence, no less) and we began to argue. We were glaring at each other when Short stuff piped up from the back seat:

"Mom! Dad! Egbar!"

Yar... we both smiled at each other and laughed, the fog lifting from our hearts like a calm morning on the north atlantic. The boy spoke the wisdom of an old salt...

Next time ye be under stress with you and yours, take a lesson from the child, and remind yerself that Everything is Gonna Be All Right... for years from now, you and yer mates will be drinking rum and singing shantys about that day.

Now... all together... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Multiple languages, and perfect for "talk like a pirate day"...



or, for you old traditionalists...

V-v-v-ote P-p-p-alin.

I laughed for five minutes at this "Get Fuzzy" cartoon:

The reason, (I am ashamed to admit) is that the first Palin I thought of when I heard about McCain's pick for running mate was Michael Palin as well. (Moreso because I actually knew of the Alaskan Governor before the big announcement) It just disappoints me that no one has made any "A Fish Called Wanda" jokes, choosing instead to go with the more obvious Monty Python gags.

Still, "NOBODY expects the Alskan Politician!" is pure comic genius.

Friends and family...

For those of you concerned that I have not contacted personally... Me, Silverfox, and the boys evacuated on friday before Gustav hit the gulf coast south of New Orleans. Once again thanks to Drew and Stacey, me and mine were sheltered from the storm in beautiful Brandon, MS. 

As far as going home goes, it's a little more complicated... Power and essential services are out across the area, but we have heard our Condo is fine, apparently minus one fireplace cap. We're not sure when we will be returning, as the Boys are a handful even with working power and toilets.

Not gonna lie to you, folks... this one was scary. More so now that I have a full on family to worry about. Silverfox and I have had a few discussions at this point about possibly moving out of the gulf south. 

FW:uh oh.

Path of Gustav

Came across this...

I laughed for at least five minutes about this anecdote on snopes.com and just had to share it.

Remember as you read it that these people can vote.

The Wedding... (also known as the best day of my life)

Well, it's official... even though at times the entire universe seemed to be trying to stop us, on 8/8/08, Silverfox and I tied the knot in Fountainebleu state park.

I guess that makes the score Rob 1, universe 100,000,000,000.

To Recap: When last we left our hero, he had managed to get officially divorced from psychoex, and skipped merrily from there to the courthouse to get a marriage license. (By my watch, that means I was legally a bachelor for all of 32 minutes, 17 seconds... barely enough time to scratch myself and belch a few times.) The judge at the courthouse waived the requirement for his birth certificate, and the required 72 hour waiting period so that he and his true love could tie the knot all legal- like. On the way home form the courthouse however, further perils awaited our intrepid duo as their faithful truck started making horrible clunking sounds and had to be put down (the rear differential went out... a 7638 to 1 probability).

The next day was spent mostly entertaining my high school chum that had flown in for the wedding, and insisting that Silverfox not stress out about cleaning Casa Kahunah. She met my buddy and I later in Starbucks, after taking the time out to get her hair done. I swear, she looked like her blood pressure was about to make Krakatoa look like a bottle rocket.

"Honey?" I asked innocently, "Why are you stressing so hard about the condo being clean? It's not like the wedding is there."

"No," Silverfox said, "But if your aunt and uncle are coming in from out of town, they'll want to stay there..."

"Look Foxy..." I said, trying to put her mind at ease, "there is no way my Aunt and Uncle are crazy enough to try to make that trip. It's a 22 hour drive!"

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yep." I said, pulling out my cell phone, "Here... let me call them right now so you'll know that Uncle Lou is safe on his couch watching American Chopper."

Except of course, he wasn't. My Aunt Jo, (god love her) had decided that she was not going to miss her godson's second wedding, so she jumped into the car and drove for two and a half days to make it. She intended on just showing up and surprising us at the park, but my Cousin Jessie spilled the beans on the phone when I called.

So, the morning of the wedding was more stressful than I had hoped, but I was still stoked that I was actually going to have some family there. There were a million and one things that needed doing, people that needed rides to the ceremony co-ordinated for them, a bridesmaid that backed out at the last minute due to a death in the family. My brain was racing at about warp 3 and in the middle of it all, I remembered something that I had left undone at work. So I call my co-worker Mama Janet, who had already handled what I had called about, and gave me some advice that would be my mantra for the day:

"At the end of the day, you'll still be married. Just keep reminding yourself that."

We got to the park, and it was a beautiful day... it was overcast enough that everyone was cool and comfortable. Silverfox decided that rather than get hitched on the beach, we should have the ceremony at the pavilion that we rented for the reception. After a few bumps in the road (Confusion about the dress code and the time of the ceremony, our grillmaster coming in at the last minute) Silverfox made herself scarce to change into her wedding dress, while I sat around chatting with my friends and trying not to look nervous:
After an eternity, the Reverend Captain David Brou Haydel greeted our assembled guests with a cheery "Aloha!":Yes, I still look nervous, I know. We had no music as our wedding party approached our makeshift altar or as each of them made a traditional blessing to our wedding, but Dave had everyone hum "here comes the bride" when Silverfox came out of hiding and was escorted by her brother to my side: Boy, Charlotte (lower right) sure looks happy that we're getting married, don't she? to be fair, that is her kid on the table in front of her, about to make a break for it.

To continue...

"Mawidge is the weason we are gaddered here two day. For Wov…True Wov is what this couple found, and they have come here today to unite and take on wife as one force." Dave began, "And if you don't know why that's funny, you're probably at the wrong wedding."Silverfox and I had written the entire ceremony ourselves, and I was really happy when most of our friends said the line "Wov, true Wov" along with Dave.

Dave continued after the laughter died down, making it through the sand ceremony with the kids, adding a few song lyrics of his own, but making it quickly to the vows.

"Cheri, do you take Rob to be your husband, and promise to put up with his stupid jokes, encourage his dreams of being a rock star/super hero/scientist/writer, and just let him win every third argument?"

(big laugh from the crowd)

"I do." She said as I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you also promise to put up with his fanboy obsessions and quirks, let him have the remote and cherish him with devoted love and faithfulness from this day forward to infinity and beyond?"

(another laugh at the Toy Story reference)

"I do."

"Are you sure?"

(another big laugh)

"Yes."

God, she was beautiful... I felt weak just looking at her as Dave began my vows.

"Rob, You have the right to remain silent."

(big laugh from the crowd)

"Anything you say can and will be held against you for the rest of your life. You have the right to cry on her shoulder whenever you need to. If you cannot afford undermining your masculinity in this way, you are allowed to vent your frustrations during your gaming sessions or pre-approved guy nights. Under no circumstances are you permitted to self medicate with street pharmaceuticals, however social drinking will be tolerated in pre-designated rationing.

You can decide at any time from this moment on to terminate this union but fear her wrath and the wrath of all in attendance should you choose to do so. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?"

"I Do."

"And knowing this, to you still take her to be your wife, and to love and cherish her to infinity and beyond?"

"I Do."

At this point... and I swear I am not kidding here... the distant sound of thunder interrupted the ceremony. Everyone laughed at the timing, but I wondered silently to myself if the universe was a little pissed off that we made it to this moment despite everything it had thrown at us. We exchanged rings, and before I could blink, we were pronounced Kahunah and Wahini.

The torches behind us, while most would think were just there to set the mood, served a larger function... one was there to represent Silverfoxes Dad, who passed away a few years ago. The others were there to represent my parents and brother, who couldn't make it down for the ceremony.

Our wedding cake was almost too cute to cut into:
But we did, and it was yummy. The surf board cookies around the edge were wonderful.

The reception was informal, but exhausting... here is pint size falling asleep on a friend of our family as proof...
According to the ranger at the front gate, 50 people attended our wedding... not too shabby for a Friday afternoon.

It seemed like it took forever for Silverfox and I to get to the B&B we had booked for our wedding night, but it was totally worth it. The room was beautiful, and the innkeeper had some snacks and champagne waiting for us.

As we lounged together in the swimming pool outside our room with a blanket of stars above us, I looked at the ring on my finger and realized that Mama Janet was right... here it was, the end of the day, and we were married.

Thank you to everyone that pitched in that day, and everyone that came to celebrate the moment with us. Your thank you cards will be in the mail soon.

Next time, I'll tell you about my Aunts New Orleans adventures, and her first gay pride parade.

Short stuff just got:-)

the coolest happy meal toy ever.

One step forward, two steps back:

)Good news- got the divorce final and the marriage licence. Bad news- on the way

--
==================================================================
This mobile text message is brought to you by AT&T

Great... thanks to neumerology...

China is all jumping on our bandwason, but not without consequences.

I already knew that the opening day of the Bejing olympics was scheduled for my and Silverfoxes wedding day, but this is going a little too far...

So, I'm reading the news today and I come across this article about how the Chinese are all tripping over themselves to get married on 8-8-08. Apparently, due to a quirk of their language, the date sounds like "money, money, money!"

But then it gets worse... the article goes on to say:

But, as China has learnt to its cost in a turbulent 2008, not all is positive energy in the Year of the Rat, which also symbolises the turbulent relationship between earth and water.

China was hit by crippling blizzards at the start of the year, rioting erupted in Tibet which prompted worldwide protests surrounding the Olympic torch relay and then the Sichuan earthquake struck.

Those grim milestones for China had an intriguing symmetry.

The snowstorms struck on 25/01. 2+5+1=8.

The Tibet riots erupted on 14/03. 1+4+3=8.

The earthquake struck on 12/05. 1+2+5=8. That was also 88 days before the start of the Olympics.

"The number eight can be negative as well," Lo warned -- and the worst may not be over.

Oh, but it gets much worse... My divorce from the ex was supposed to be final on 9-15-05...

9-1+5-05= 8!

that's creepy... but still worse...

The ex's birthday was 11-03..

11-3=8

and even creepier:

My birthday: 2-5-70
Silverfoxes birthday: 1-5-71

2+5+7+0

+ 1+5+7+1
______________
3+10-14+1= 8!

You see, this is why numerology sucks... you can make numbers say whatever you want them to by being a little clever. It reminds me of an old Abbott and Costello sketch:

The fact of the matter is that 8/8/08 will contain the happiest moment of my life, No matter what the numbers say.

Really neat toy... Nearly latte, yo...

I found a link to an anagram generator, ( Internet Anagram Server = Isn't rearrangement rave?) and spent at least an hour typing things in...

Among the more interesting ones for "Robert Cerio":

"Orbiter Core", "Erotic Borer", and "Rob tore rice"

Among the more interesting ones for "Dogs of Atlantis":

"Fatalist Godson", "a tasting floods", "looting ads fast", "Fatal dingo toss" and "Analog dot fists"

UPDATE: Ooooo... If I type in "Rob and Cheri" it comes up ""Brand Heroic" and "Carbide Horn" I wonder if Silverfox would go for those as baby names when the time comes?

Some funny on a saturday...

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?" "Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?" "Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." "What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?" "Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

Some funny on a thursday....

There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!" The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"

Wedding woes...

For those of you that have been wondering about the wedding, it's still on... but there are a lot of issues that have cropped up that have put everything in jeopardy. After much deliberation, Silverfox and I have decided that it's okay to make the recent stumbling blocks we've hit public knowledge.

And I'm not talking small "speed bump in the wal-mart parking lot" stumbling blocks, either... I'm talking "Someone flew the Matterhorn in and expects you to climb it, fat boy" kinda stumbling blocks.

I don't even know where to begin... Many of you know about Silverfoxs Back problems, of course, Silverfox found out then that her wedding dress no longer fit (she has put on a little weight due to her back problems) So she orders a bigger one, and it doesn't fit either...

Still, we soldiered on... the dress thing sucks, but isn't insurmountable, right?

Then we found out that none of my family (including my brother/best man) is gonna be able to make it to the ceremony. I admit that I was dissapointed, but I understood completely... with gas at 4 bucks a gallon, I'll be lucky if I can make it to the wedding. After Silverfox and I talked about it, it seemed like we should still go ahead with it all (particularly with the idea of taking a trip up to new york for a second reception for my family bringing a smile to both our faces) My friend Janet has even offered to stand in for my Mom.

Even when Silverfoxes bridesmaids all tried to bail on us at the same time (figuring that my side was now a man short... a condition which only lasted the three minutes until I could contact a backup groomsman) we still were going through with it.

But then her uncle Vic had a stroke, and his house was the one we were planning on using as a staging area for the wedding (because he's only 5 minutes away from the location). Still, her uncle Leo had offered to pitch in and do all the grilling for us as a wedding gift... so we were still all gung-ho about it.

With love in our hearts and optimism in our step, last week we head down to the courthouse for the marriage license only to find out that we don't have the proper paperwork... specifically , our divorce papers and birth certificates. Silverfox freaked out a little (She lost most of the paperwork during Katrina) but I wasn't worried. All it would take is a phone call to the clerk of court for the divorce stuff, and an internet search to get a copy of my birth certificate (lost in a move, I think).

Except of course that to get a birth certificate over the internet (or phone) you need a debit card in the name of the person who needs the certificate, and my bank suspended mine when I had pneumonia. Still, I figured no problem... I can talk to the judge and maybe he can waive the requirement... So I call the county clerk and tell them I need a copy of my divorce papers.

They tell me that I'm not divorced at all, but still married to my ex wife.

You see, I had been told by my lawyer friend that all I had to do was file for divorce, wait 180 days, and the court system would take care of the rest... they would eventually mail me something that said 'you are officially divorced' to prove it. I fully intended on calling the court on the date (September 18th, 2005) and making sure that was what would happen. Unfortunately on August 29, 2005, Hurricane Katrina made landfall and things were absolute chaos down at the courthouse for months. Still, I had been assured that my divorce should now be legal and binding, (in fact, Stacey and Drew took me out on sept 18th for drinks to celebrate) so I didn't think to follow up on it.

So I ask the clerk what I have to do to clear this up, and they refuse to tell me because that would constitute 'Legal Advice' and I could sue them. I then called my friend, who tells me what I need to do (file for judgment) and exactly how to say this to the clerk of court. I call them back and they say 'you can't do that without a lawyer'.

I somehow restrain myself from buying a rifle and finding a clocktower, and figure at this point I have to somehow explain this to Silverfox. I thought for a moment that I should first hide her tazer, but then simply decided to do it over the phone (Tazers don't work over phone lines, do they?) . She was surprisingly understanding about it...but immediately rushes down to the courthouse to make sure that she's actually divorced (she is). I could still tell that it upsets her, and I vow to make this right somehow.

So I talk to a different lawyer, and he tells me that he thinks he can clear this up, but I'm gonna need the ex's co-operation to do so.

I haven't spoken to The ex in over a year at this point, and had no good contact info on her either. So I call her Mom, who tells me she ain't telling me nothing, my ex is in no condition to deal with any of this, and she (the mom) will only talk to my attorney. (I still don't officially have one because the guy who said he could clear it up said it was contingent on the ex's cooperation..) So I ask her what she means by "unable to deal", mostly out of concern. She again requests that my attorney call her, and hangs up on me.

After nearly breaking half the bones in my wrist and hand punching Silverfox's marble topped table in frustration, I have my Lawyer friend (the one who gave me the divorce advice to begin with) call her. He finds out Charity's in the loony bin again, (commited or just another two week vacation? your guess is as good as mine) but for sure unable to consent to anything legaly.

My hopes for settling this quickly evaporated like a puff of smoke flying out of a Dragon's butt after eating too many mexicans.

Silverfox and I talked it over (while I wished to myself that I was a widower rather than a non-divorcee) and decided that going forward with the ceremony was the thing to do... sure, it wouldn't be super official, but we have friends already coming in from out of town, deposits on the location, and the sincere desire to commit to each other... a bonus would be that we could later have the legally binding ceremony up in NY with my family present...

Of course, Janet isn't sure how she feels about going from "stand in mother of the groom" to "Stand in mother of the polygamist".

Then Silverfoxes Uncle Leo got hospitalized after a car accident. He's stable, but probably won't make the wedding. This left us without any food for what we estimate to be around thirty guests.

As the icing on the cake, Silverfox has been summoned for Jury Duty on the day of the wedding. Sure, getting married would be enough to get her out of it, but they're gonna want to see the Marriage license. It doesn't help her state of mind (or mine) that her Mom keeps telling her that she should postpone the wedding, and her brother has refused to walk her down the aisle.

Though, on the beach we won't really have an aisle...

Ever feel like somebody was trying to tell you something?

The short of it is that we're still going through with it... weither or not it will be legal and if I will be a bigamist or not is questionable. But I'll tell ya... if a hurricane or tropical storm even so much as twitches in our direction the week of the wedding they may have to fit both me and Silverfox for adjoining rubber rooms in the nuthouse next to the ex.

Update: The second Lawyer informed me today that because of the exs condition, he would need a 1500 dollar retainer to tackle this, but I should be prepared to face court costs of 3000 bucks. Also, because the papers were filed back in 2005, we would have to start the whole thing from scratch. That's just freaking lovely.

Some funny on a tuesday...

A Man away on buisness calls home. The Maid answers phone. He says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend." He's mad-- so he says, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both." Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok." 5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?" He says, "Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them when I get home." She says, "We don't have a pool." He asks, "Is this 555-1234?"

Some funny on a sunday...

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked..."doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?" Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed." This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?" "Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"

Some funny on a friday...

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"

Some funny on a wednesday...

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy"

Some funny on a monday...

A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place. He tells the timid man, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills!! He's the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!!"

A few weeks pass uneventfully. But one afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, "Big John is coming to town!! Run for your lives!!!" When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he's knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town.

As he's picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks. He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, "I want a beer NOW!!" He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer, hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp. As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar, the big man gets up to leave.

"Do you want another beer?" the bartender calls out.

"Dang it, I don't have time!!" the big man yells. "I gotta get out of town!!! Didn't ya hear Big John is a-comin??"

Some funny on a saturday...

Fred got home from his Saturday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

Once you swap the top, you just can't stop...

Well, by now you've all read yesterday's post... and may have realized I am now obsessed with manbabies.com. So much so that I couldn't stop at the pictures of me and Pint Size, but have since moved on to borrowing pictures of my friends and their kids for my Photoshop entertainment...

I should probably send a few of these to the site that inspired them, but I figure I already have the satisfaction of showing the world my mad photoshop skills, so why bother?

Now on to the photos... for my first offering, I present Dave Gabol and his son, Jack in "Daddy naps while Jack reads"

The hardest part of it was matching Dave's skin tone to Jacks. I wish I had a higher resolution image to work with, though.

My second offering today is Drew, Stacey, and Ace Spiehler in "Now who's the clone?"

Three funny things about the above picture...

One, Drew looks less like a baby and more like a midget than any of these I have seen thus far.
Two, I was so tempted not to enlarge Ace's head at all, but just paste Drew's head over his that I really had to force myself to finish the job. (the big joke after Ace was born was that he was actually Drew's clone)
Three, I didn't have to change Drew's reflection in the glass at all to match Ace's head. that's not as funny as it is scary.

So, Stacey texts me about this site...

Called manbabies.com... which is full of pictures of Dads with their kids having swapped the Dad's head for the kid's head in photoshop. She also recomended that I should make one of me and Pint Size and submit it to the site.

Look. I don't have time to make a silly photoshop project that will just go into some guys "to post" folder for several weeks without so much as an e-mail telling me that it will eventually be posted...

I have time to make two.

I still haven't decided if i'm gonna submit them to the manbabies site or not, but they sure came out cute... (if slightly creepy) so I figured I would just share them here...

I call this first one "Superman and Superbaby having breakfast at McDonalds"

The second one I have titled "Are you sure this thing is safe?"

Three things I am sure of after this particular experiment...

1) Pint size had better watch his waistline as he gets older or he's gonna look downright silly.
2) I was an adorable baby.
3) I have WAAAAAAAY too much time on my hands at work.

Some funny on a thursday....

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Some funny on a tuesday...

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

Some funny on a sunday...

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know
how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you
are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know,
I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots
whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's
house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were
inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out
in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked
over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away,
Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

Right now...

Short stuff is singing "Star Trekkin" to himself as he washes his hands after breakfast.

I'm so proud I could bust.

Some funny on a friday....

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store
laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's
no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.

The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and
once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of
the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?

So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him
to see where he goes."

Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts
cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the
guy.

About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
"Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies "Your house."

Some funny on a wednesday...

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he
called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is
it or the express degree you told me about?"

"It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon,
why do you want to become a lawyer?"

"That's my business! Get me the course!"

Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer
was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.

Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and
it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the
lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late,
tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before
you died?"

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said,
"One less lawyer . . ."

Okay... I need a house with a yard.

Why, you ask? so I can build a Tardis garden shed. After all, it's where David Tennent keeps his hoes...

Maybe I can convince Silverfox to let me build one on the balcony of the condo... of course I have to finish cleaning it first...

Some funny for a Monday...

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man.

"Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."

"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?"

The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."

Some funny on a saturday...

A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years.

The doctor gives her a physical, and then pulls three bottles of pills out of the cabinet and hands them to her. “Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water,” the doctor says, “take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water, and take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water.

After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks, "Can you tell me what's wrong with me Doctor?”

The Doctor says “Yeah. You don’t drink enough water.”

Something to think about this Independance Day...

As I'm sure most people that read this blog that live in the state of Louisiana know, during the last session of the state legislature, they passed a law that would effectively give themselves a pay raise of over 100%. Our newly elected Governor, Bobby Jindal, had said previously that he would maintain a "hands off" attitude toward the legislature's internal workings, and as such would not Veto the pay raise, even though he was strongly opposed to it.

Public outcry was intense, and people that normally sit on their couches complaining "Well, that's politics as usual in Louisiana for ya" stood up as one and let their voices be heard for the first time in years. Much of this outcry was directed at Governor Jindal, who had run (as a certain Presidential hopeful is now running) on a platform of change. There was suddenly talk of recall elections, petitions going around that would essentially get the ball rolling on removing Jindal and the state legislators that had voted for the bill from office.

The legislators whined that their 40 thou a year was not enough for the part time job that was turning full time through Governor Jindal's efforts to get more done for the people. It was glossed over that with the perks of the job, their income hovers around 60 thou, in a state where many people working full time (myself included) make under 25 thou a year.

The Governor was in a tight spot. He knew that an outright Veto would make it next to impossible to get further reform legislation through the house, but he also knew that the people wanted him to stop these greedy idiots.

I am proud to say that the Governor finally did the right thing. His boss (the people) had spoken and told the legislators "enough!" the bill was vetoed on Monday morning. Democracy had prevailed over those that would exploit the system.

232 years ago, some sweaty old white guys in a Philadelphia courthouse worked together to create a system of government that would allow for the will of the people to be heard without having to resort to violence. This week, (in Louisiana at least) it was.

Many of us have issues with the direction the country is headed. Soaring gas prices caused by an unpopular war have many grumbling for radical change. Any idiot can take to the street with a rock in their hand and toss it at an unpopular leader, but it takes a much smarter person to accomplish change from within the system. Over the past two centuries, thousands of people have put their lives on the line to give you the opportunity to be that smart person, a freedom that we often take for granted.

Appreciate your freedom today. Oppose those that think that Government is there to further their own agendas. Make the founding fathers glad that the country they fought so hard to make happen has endured.

More Dr Horrible goodness...

This time literally... Dr Horrible's Nemesis, ultra do-gooder Captain Hammer, (played on the video blog by Firefly's Nathan Fillion) Has his own online comic book! Check it out!