Moving day...

Today, Dogs of Atlantis headquarters was officially re-located to Kenner, Louisiana where Silverfox and I have gotten us a Condo. I know it seems quick, but allow me to share an anecdote that should show those who know me just why it seems so right. many of my closest friends have heard this story before, so I would ask that they just grin and bear it... I promise to make more with the funny when my body doen't feel like it's gone three rounds with George Foreman.

So, one of the things we lack right now is a headboard for our new bed... and the other day i get a call from Silverfox on the matter.

Her: Rob, do you know how to use a jigsaw?

Me: The tool or the puzzle?

Her: the tool.

Me: Sure, why?

Her: I have an idea for the headboard.

At this point, the "excuses" file in my brain opens up, ready to tell her all the reasons why I can't use a jigsaw, convinced that I'm gonna hate the girly design idea i'm convinced that she's come up with. the simplest being "I lost my jigsaw" the most complicated being "I have a fear of jigsaws ever since my ex wife cased me around the yard a few times with one... please don't ask me to go near one again...(sob)" then she breaks my internal file by saying...

Her: I'd like to make a giant padded Imperial Klingon crest above the bed, with torch-like sconces on either side. Maybe all in black leather.

Many things went through my mind at that moment, but the only words that came out as I started tearing up were "I love you."

I am the luckiest S.O.B. on the planet.

More about the eggs...

So, I was relating my previous blog entry to my friend Ray at Pub Quiz last night, when he asked what I thought was the obvious question about it...

"What would your entry be like that would make it so much better than this vapid girl from the middle of nowhere?"

So I told him, "I would have gone way more weird with it. I would have brought to light the eternal struggle between the sunny-side up eggs and their scrambled cousins. Even when they were first brought forth from the chickens rear, they probably had their own opinions about how they should be prepared..."

"True." Ray said, as I took a long swig from the pint of beer in front of me before continuing.

"The animosity between the two factions continues in the carton until it's so great that you in fact can not have them on the same plate without first building a wall of corned beef hash to separate the two. Why even before you had chicken/egg arguments, you probably had fried/poached arguments."

"No raw egg arguments?"

"Only with Neanderthals and boxers in training." I said smugly taking another healthy swig.

"That's pretty deep for eggs." Ray said, "But I suppose if Paul Simon can be inspired to write 'Mother and child reunion' from a dish of chicken and eggs that you can have your little mental war about them."

I nearly did a spit take. "What?"

"True story." Ray continued, "He was in a restaurant... Chinese I think... and ordered a dish they called Mother and Child Reunion. Turned out to be chicken and eggs, and inspired the song."

"That's ludicrous." I said, knowing that Ray has not only a talent for pulling peoples legs, but enjoys doing so.

"But true. Think about the lyrics... the mother and child reunion is only a moment away because he's just ordered it."

"Or is in the middle of digesting them in his stomach together."

"Right."

"And you expect me to believe this?"

"Look it up if you don't believe me, Rob!"

What followed was the typical arguments one makes when someone is yanking your chain, ("Yeah, right", "like I'm gonna believe you", "Yo mama's so stupid she believes that") followed by trivia. I was however curious, and did in fact look it up on Wikipedia today. Needless to say, I was shocked, and now owe both Ray and his mama an apology. Apparently, Paul Simon can put almost anything to music and make it sound good. I also read that the guys from Robot Chicken got the name for their show from a Chinese menu though, and it makes me wonder:

Am missing out on a huge fountain of creativity by limiting myself to Chinese buffets?

Happy NaBloPoMo!

For those of you that don't know, November is National Blog Posting Month. Look it up on the internet if you don't believe me... It's formulated to get some lazier writers out there into a posting habit by making sure that you write in your blog once a day for a month, much like National Novel Writing Month, and Script Frenzy.

Problem is, that it leads to a lot of "this is what I had for breakfast" type of posts that aren't really... good writing. I remember reading an entire entry on some poor girl's blog about (I kid you not) how difficult it was for her to decide how to have her eggs made in the morning.

Now, If I was to write this, it would be a funny look inside my imagination to see the warped and funny way in which decisions spring forth. The way this girl wrote it was "so i sat at the table for breakfast, and couldn't decide between over easy and scrambled. Gosh. over easy. scrambled. I just couldn't decide. I like both, but at the same time like neither. over easy. scrambled. which one should I choose? both are eggs, and I did want eggs, but did I want over easy or scrambled?" She went on just like that for at least two paragraphs, before deciding to get...

Well, I don't want to spoil it for you, should you come across it. Anyhow, I am normally in favor of things that get others to write, but the organizers of these things don't seem to understand that in the age of the internet there are a lot of bad writers out there. Really, Really bad writers. Writing so bad it gives me intestinal cramps. Sentence structure so confusing it would clog up a cray supercomputer for hours. Run ons so long that a marathoner from Kenya couldn't make it to the end.

And the poetry... dear god, the poetry. Page after page of "fill-up-the-bathtub-and-throw-in-a-live-toaster" Poetry.

I weep for humanity.

To help stem this tide of crappy prose, (or at least set the curve) I will rise to the challenge of a post a day for the month of November. I will furthermore not take the following short cuts during this challenge:

Photos as entries
Quiz results as entries
Poems as entries (my Brother is one of the few I have seen do this effectively)

I will still continue to post the occasional joke, but I'll keep them to a minimum. Wish me luck!

Man vs halloween.

Part of the package with silverfox is her two kids, short stuff and pint size. I am still adjusting to the new role as stepdad, but realized tonight that this whole Dad thing has its perks... Tonight, for the first time in twenty-five years, I got to go trick or treating. :)

Now I'm absolutely exhausted. How do these kids manage to do it?

Some Halloween humor

Sorry about all the jokes this week... but this weekend is the big move to my (and Silverfox, plus the two kids) new digs out in Kenner, and I've been a little preoccupied. On the bright side, Moving always makes for great blog material... in the meantime an old joke, but still funny...

A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice girl he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife moved on up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little romp.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.

He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"

Some Tuesday humor...

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"

The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."

A couple of lawbreaking jokes for funny on a Monday...

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."

The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"

The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"

Not even a snicker? well, how about this one...

This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire.

When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.

Buy my stamp you will, Hmmm?

And send Christmas cards to friends you will... For strong with the force you are. Rain, snow, dead of night... these things mean nothing to a Jedi. The post office is my ally, and a powerful ally it is.

I could go on all day like that, but if you'd like to read the article about the above stamp, click here.

Mail or mail not... There is no try. Judge me by my stamp, do you? Link us together, the mail does... you to me, to the tree to the rock, to the ship.

Yeah... gonna be a long day.

Building my wild self...

Culled from Reasonably Prudent Poet's blog... of course, I did have to add the beard and stubble in photoshop, but it was still pretty cool.

Build your own "wild self" here

It also came with the following information about my animal parts:

Bison horns - Your bison horns, unlike deer and elk antlers, are made of a substance similar to hair. They are also slow-growing and permanent. They grow in yearly "rings" which indicate age. (In short, I have a rocking hairdo that can smite my enemies)

Western lowland gorilla arms - Ready to take a walk…on your hands? Your western lowland gorilla arms are so long, you'll be able to support yourself on your knuckles. (this is different from the way I am now how exactly?)

African lion legs - Your African lion legs are extremely powerful and have long, retractable claws to help you bring down prey. Careful not to poke your eye out with those things! (or my friend's eye, I would imagine)

Chilean flamingo wings - Your Chilean flamingo wings have dark feathers on their underside. Males use them in courtship displays by flapping their wings to make black flashes that attract the ladies. Ooh la la! (again, this is different from the way I am now how?)

It's a meme wednesday!

How much of a yankee are you? Take the test!

I scored "49% Dixie. Barely in Yankeedom."

(sigh) I guess you can take the boy outta New York...

Some funny on a tuesday...

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.

"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the casue was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."

Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down...

And when it's both it gets me bloggin! There was some localized flooding today... so much so that I had to move the buick to higher ground. it was parked right behind the van in this picture, but closer to the wall:
when I got to it, the water was above my ankles, and an inch away from the passenger door. I would have taken a picture of the Buick, but I was too busy panicking. The last thing I need is a flooded car... so instead I took a picture of Janet's car:
Which she, being a smart cookie as well, also decided to move to high ground. (notice the wake that the tires left... that was some deep water!)
According to the National Weather service, we can expect at least four more inches of rain before the end of today. Boy, am I glad that the Condo me, Silverfox and the kids are getting is on the second floor.

it's a meme thursday...

Hmmm... I dunno If I agree with this one. Particularly since I was just a hare's breath from being Ginny.

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Harry Potter You can be a little reckless and hot-headed at times, but a more brave and courageous friend would be hard to find. Harry Potter 85% Ginny Weasley 70% Albus Dumbledore 70% Hermione Granger 65% Ron Weasley 65% Remus Lupin 65% Sirius Black 55% Draco Malfoy 35% Severus Snape 25% Lord Voldemort 5%

Some Wednesday humor...

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.

"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.

"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.

"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."

Some funny on a tuesday...

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I''ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don''t know sh*t?"

Man vs.House

From the DOA management: It has been decided that in light of recent developments, a partial rescinding of the prime directive is in order. Henceforth, our main correspondent will be allowed to mention his love life here on these pages as long as two conditions are met:

1) Said anecdotes do not paint his significant other in a bad light or make her look stupid and/or like a chimpanzee trying to defuse an a-bomb.

2) Said anecdotes do not provide "Too Much Information" (also known as the "bedroom antics" clause). After all, we here at DOA doubt that our audience really wants to know what they were doing last weekend with the rented backhoe, 300 gallons of shucked oysters, and a large Panda named 'Phil'.

Sometime over the last few months we've been dating, Silverfox found out that I'm a complete chicken with a few things... Regular readers of this blog know that I hate mice, for instance... but a little known fact is that I also hate being startled in the name of entertainment. I am the guy at the movie theatre that has his hands over his eyes just as Freddy Kruger is about to disembowel someone and turn their entrails into a bass guitar. I also hate the distinctly southern phenomena that crops up around Halloween known as the "haunted house". For those of you unfamiliar with the things, think of a darkride that you have to walk through. It's pitch black, filled with actors in costumes trying to scare the bejesus out of you.

Actors that love nothing more than play "scare the piss out of the fat guy".

As a result, I have never been to one. To say I avoid them like the plague does not do justice to my love of the "Black Death" and it's place in European history. Silverfox however, loves the darn things and considers herself a bit of a spook house aficionado. Determined to get me to go to one, she told her 12 year old niece that "if you can get Rob to agree to go, we'll take you."

Hell hath no fury like a pouty pre-teen.

So, I agreed, on the sole condition that I could pick the one we went to. I of course, pick the one that sounded the least scary, and had been assured was safe for kids. Little kids. Little kids with heart conditions and issues with clowns. The problem was that I myself was still petrified. As me, Silverfox and DaNiece approached Blaine Kern's Mardi Gras World haunted house, my feet turned to clay. I heard screams. I saw strobes. I looked around at really creepy mardi gras statues, their horrid, vacant fiberglass eyes boring a root canal into my soul.

Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but it certainly creeped me the heck out. I stood in place as Silverfox and DaNiece tugged at my arms, refusing to go. Silverfox got in my face and screamed at me, "ROB! You were a freaking ghostbuster and you can't handle this!?!"

This snapped me out of it long enough for them to get me into line in front of the place. Creepy music played. A fairly ugly guy in a worn Tux entertained the crowd by acting quite psychotic, and I wondered for a moment if he might be related to my ex-wife. (doubtful, but it is a small city) While we waited, A man creeped up behind DaNiece and scared the heck out of her just by standing there.

"Okay." I admitted, "that was pretty awesome. I need to give this a chance" The Guy in the tux adressed us as we got to the front of the line with a really creepy "You're with me, fat man." Silverfox got all up in his grill, though and growled "No. He's with ME!" She winked at me, saying "see? I won't let any of the scary people hurt you, Rob" in the same tone she would use with her five-year old.

I'm still not real sure if that was funny or not.

With dramatic Music blaring, we three who were about to be condemned to the deepest pits of hell (the tux dude's words, not mine... I'm rarely that melodramatic) entered the place. DaNiece clutched onto Silverfox's back, burying her face in her shoulder and refusing to open her eyes. Silverfox, the fearless, sexy vixen that she is, led the way at a brisk pace.

Leaving me behind at the first turn.

"SILVER!" I screamed, trying not to sound like the lone ranger, "WAIT FOR ME!" long nanoseconds passed before I heard her sultry voice in the darkness say quietly "I'm right here you big baby. Grab on to DaNiece."

So I did. DaNiece predictably screemd at the top of her lungs, causing Silverfox to scream in pain at her eardrums being blasted, causing me to scream and grab DaNiece causing...

Well, you get the idea. It was a vicious circle of sound. Silverfox finally yelled "Will you two get a grip?" getting us to calm down. A group of 5 year olds then skipped by, happy as can be, and I felt the shame a man feels when he realizes that he's about as brave as a pack of girl scouts at crystal lake.

So, we continued on into the darkness, entering a Mirror maze. I enjoyed this because it was fairly well lit, and the mirrors allowed me to see what was waiting for us around each corner. I relaxed my grip on DaNiece just as we again wandered into blackness, and I lost them again. I screamed again, "Silver, wait up!!!!" She screamed back "I can't! The man ahead is telling me to follow the light!" I was agahst.

"NO! Don't go into the light, Silver!" I yelled. I swear I heard her sigh. I suddenly bumped into DaNiece, causing her to scream, causing...

Well, I went into that a few paragraphs ago. This time add a scary clown that wouldn't let Silverfox pass. If you thought she got into the grill of the dude with the Tux... with a teenager-sized 120lb trembling backpack and 300 plus pounds of large, scared Italian boyfriend following her, she was in no mood to be trifled with. She just stared at the Clown and impatiently yelled "WELL?"

The Clown, like any circus performer faced with a lion, did what any reasonable man would do... he got the hell out of the way.

The rest of the place was mostly filled with clever optical illusions, with the exception of a dark room with cobwebs that freaked me out. As I was screaming, Silverfox yelled that it was just fishing line hanging from the ceiling. I yelled back that the fact that it was fishing line did not help me in the slightest, nor did it make it any less not cool.

We finally entered into the final room... the main den at Blaine Kern's where they have all the really BIG floats and statues. I could hear a smoke machine hissing nearby over the creepy music. A strobe light flashed, providing the room's only illumination. Large, creepy figures loomed around us as we navigated through toward the exit. At times, i could not even tell we were moving. It was like every bad dream about Mardi Gras World I have ever had rolled into one. Finally, we were outside.

Silverfox and DaNeice started laughing. "That was great!" "I wasn't scared at all" I heard them bantering over my pulse pounding in my ears. I looked at the two of them, obviously white as a sheet, and they both started cracking up.

I only really calmed down when I realized I was laughing too.

Funny on a Thursday, but first a word from the management...

From the DOA management:

As many of you have noticed, there has been a surprising lack of posts to this blog in recent weeks. We would like to apologize for this as the fault lies squarely on our broad, handsome, shoulders. You see, the lack of posts is directly related to Dogs Of Atlantis content directive 001, also known to regular readers of these pages as the Prime Directive. As our main protagonist's life has slowly intertwined with a young woman we will henseforth refer to as Silverfox, (cause her hair has streaks of silver, and she's a fox, natch...) the humorous slice of life anecdotes that this blog is known for become harder to write without breaking Directive 001.

We here at Dogs of Atlantis like to think that we are unopposed to change, because for the most part, it is a good thing. (Unless of course it involves happy, swimming puppies suddenly changing into distressed drowning puppies, or someone trying to pay the tab at a fancy restaurant with nothing but Nickels, Dimes, and Quarters) As such, we are in the process of reviewing our publishing policies with the intent of altering them to allow for the changes in Rob's lifestyle. We will of course keep you apprised.

Now for some Funny on a Thursday:

A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity.

The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn't even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.

The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn't want that room, and they moved on.

The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right.

The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Time for another 10,000 push-ups!"

Some funny on a tuesday...

An Amish woman and her son are walking through a mall for the first time, totally stunned by everything they see.

They are especially fascinated by two silver walls which slide together and then apart.

They both walk up closer to the sliding silver walls. They see a fat, little old man waddle inside and watch as the doors close behind her.

The mother and son can't believe their eyes when minutes later, the silver doors open and a tall, well-built stud strides out.

The mother then turns to the son and says, "Son, go and get your father."

I thought about updating my blog...

But then decided not to.

Just for the record...

I hate being sick. I've been stuck in bed with a chest cold for the better part of the weeke

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A double dose of funny on a friday...

Seeing as how the posts have been sparse lately, I figured my readers were due a few giggles while I finish writing the entry about the NYC trip...

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.

The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?"

The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."

With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

I got another one for ya...

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

So where ya been, Rob?

New York, New York, kids. The place so nice they had to name it twice :) While the picture above clearly violates the Prime Directive, I don't really give a rat's fart cause we look so darn cute together on a blustery fall day in the most amazing city on the planet.

Behind us, for those not in the know... is the Verrazano Narrows bridge between Staten Island and Brooklyn. It was the longest suspension bridge in the world when it was completed, and always makes me think of my hometown.

Among the other notable pictures taken on the trip:


Me and Dad in his apartment. Cheri loves this shot because we both have the same goofy "why take a picture of us?" face going on.


Me and Cheri being saved from certain doom by the man of steel. one might assume from the picture that I am Superman's biggest fan... the little known fact is that Superman is actually my biggest fan.

Some funny for a Monday...

A waiter asks a man, "May I take your order, sir?"

"Yes," the man replies. "I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?"

"Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

A couple of one liners for funny on a wednesday...

Whats the best thing about dating homeless girls?

You can drop them off anywhere.

How does the man on the moon get his hair cut?

Eclipse it!

On my way to work...

I spotted this dude sporting a mullet as he rode his bike to work this morning:
Now, That's commuting in style. For some reason, I was reminded of "Joe Dirt".

Movie Props...

Because the TV one worked so well, and sparked many a conversation... Here are a list of Movie props I would love to have on my shelf. Remember, we're talking the real prop here... not a replica.

R2-D2: although I hear there's a club that specializes in replicas of what is perhaps the cinema's most loveable robot, I would love to have one of the ones built by Grant Imahara for Phantom Menace. (signed, of course)

The original Captain Chaos mask and cape: Of course, I don't know if I could resist wearing it...

A Batarang: One of the throwing star types from Batman Begins... although I would settle for the boomerang one that Val Kilmer used in Batman Forever.

The Green Crystal that created the fortress of solitude: from the Superman movies, of course.

The Maltese Falcon: Just because it's cool.

Indy's Whip: Because Indy was so cool that it was his prefered weapon, and it saves his life at least once per movie.

Mechagodzilla's Head: I love Godzilla movies, but Mechagodzilla was the bad guy to beat all bad guys.

The Bowler II's bowling ball: From Mystery Men, complete with the skull of Carmine the Bowler in it thanks to the pro shop.

A neuralizer: from Men in Black. so cool it immediately became a sci-fi cliche.

The arm of the original Terminator: From Terminator 2. It just looked so cool sitting in that glass case at cyberdyne.

I tag anyone who likes movies!

Some funny for a Monday... cept of course it's tuesday...

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."

Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Some funny on a friday...

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.

The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."

The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."

The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went ROARRRR!"

Only in new orleans

Behold the heart attack on a bun that was my dinner! It is an angus burger stuffed with cheddar cheese, then battered, deep fried, and served on a bun with a fried egg, lettuce and tomato. I love this town.

I figure y'all deserve a threefer funny on a thursday because I'm an idiot...

While going through his wife's dresser drawers, a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash. The farmer confronted his wife, and when asked about the curious items, she confessed:

"Over the years, I haven't been completely faithful to you."

"When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion," she explained.

The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore, was inclined to forgive and forget her few moments of weakness.

"I'm curious though," he said, "Where did the thirty dollars come from?"

"Oh that, " his wife replied, "Well, when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel, I sold out!"

Some funny on a thursday.... this time without repeating myself...

A man got pulled over by a cop because he was weaving in and out of the lanes. The cop got out of his car and asked the driver to blow in a breath-analyzer tube to check his alcohol level.
"Oh, no," the driver said. "I can't do that. If I do that, I'll have an asthma attack and die."
"OK," said the officer, "let's go down to the station and you can pee in a cup to check your alcohol level."
"Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm a diabetic and if I pee my blood sugar level will go down so low that I might die."
"Fine then. Let's go to the station and take a blood test to check your alcohol level."
"Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm a hemophiliac and I'll never stop bleeding if you draw my blood.
"All right then, just step outside your car and walk this white line for me."
"Oh, no, I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."

Some funny on a thursday....

Two men drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

"If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant.

"How do we enter?" asked the first man.

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex."

"O.K. I guess 7, " said the first man.

"Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again"

The next week, the two men returned to the same station to get gas. When they went inside to pay, the second man asked the attendant if the contest was still going on.

"Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right. You win free sex."

"2" said the second man

"Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again."

As they walked back to the car, the first man said to the second man,"You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is rigged."

"No way," said the second man. "My wife won twice last week."

The ultimate collection...

Over on the TV squad blog, there was an interesting post about Television Props... As a memorabilia collector, what are the the top ten items from TV you would like to have in your personal collection? The original author had a few clever ones, like the ottoman that Dick Van Dyke trips over at the beginning of the Dick Van Dyke Show, The ring Tom Magnum wears, and Tom Servo. It got me thinking about my own list though, and I thought I'd share it here. Keep in mind, we're talking the real prop, not a replica...

The Photo of Mel Torme from Harry's Office on Night Court. Or the armadillo he keeps on the shelf.

Murphy Brown's dart board. Each week she had someone else's face on it... I would just put Dan Quale.

Archie Bunker's Chair. with permission of the Smithsonian, of course...

Norm's Bar Stool from Cheers. If only to see how well my butt print compares to George Wendt.

K.I.T.T.'s steering column. I would say the whole car, but that would attract way too much attention.

The Nomad space probe from Star Trek. I know... of all the Trek stuff I could wish for, why that? because it would look great next to:

A Dalek from Doctor Who. And then they could fight... I can hear it now...
Dalek: "You are inferior!"
Nomad: "You are imperfect!"
Dalek: "EXTERMINATE!!"
Nomad: "STERILIZE!!!"

and so on... It would be like a fanboy tastes great/less filling commercial without all the fat, sweaty guys. I give 4-1 odds on Nomad. But I digress...back to the topic...

The palm trees and dinosaurs Wash keeps on the dashboard of Serenity. Cause they are just so freaking cool.

A bottle of Vitameatavegimin. Still my favorite Lucy routine.

The Radio from Gilligan's Island. But I think the guy who played the professor grabbed that one.

The Bat-bulletproof shield. The one gadget I can remember Adam West pulling from the utility belt that made sense to me.

So, what's in your collection?

Pub crawl re-tread...

You know, as I stumbled haphazardly from "The Bar" to "The Boom-Boom Bar" During the Area 504 Fat city Pub Crawl, the idea that I could do a live photo blog from my cell phone popped into my head. I mean, I had already promised to provide New Girlfriend with regular updates about the debauchery, so it seemed like a brilliant idea to just copy my blog about it.

Of course, the problem is that camera phones take extremely dark pictures, and my usually elegant prose and metaphors apparently break down when I'm tipsy like a Canoe full of drunk boy scouts. Maybe Live blogging just isn't for me... maybe it's just not for me when I'm drunk...in any event, here are the photoshoped-to-be-brighter pictures and better descriptions:After dinner at Crazy Johnnies and A drink or two at "The Bar" we wound up at the Boom-Boom... Here's Amy delighting in my misery as she tells Sandi, Rebecca and Raymond about me and the Assless Chaps. (Long story... I do not own any, nor do I ever intend to... but Amy thinks the concept of me in a pair is hysterical)
Next on the list was Pat's Pub, a bar of note primarily for it's blaring Heavy metal music and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer on tap for $1.50 a mug. (and worth every penny) here, we see my empty mug. The bartender was kind enough to hold a flashlight over it for the right lighting :)Sandi, A.J. and Amy playing pool at our next stop, the Whisky bar. I love the lighting in this shot... but it came out blurry because by the time I took it I was on my 6th or 7th beer...Raymond insisted that we couldn't leave the Whisky Bar without one of us getting up to do Karaoke (which I have been informed by those wiser than I means 'bad singing' in Japanese) I got up and did my best rendition of "I'm just a Gigolo". Amy said I started out like Louis Prima, but ended up all Diamond Dave. The photo of me representing in my Area 504 bowling shirt was taken for me by the very pregnant Charlotte, who was out drinking all the soft drinks she could in honor of Baby's first pub crawl... Watching her get on and off bar stools was extremely entertaining as the evening progressed. Before we left, the Bartender/owner and the DJ said that we were welcome back any time.Raymond and Rebecca at Sweets 'again' (our next stop) in the VIP area. I believe when I snapped this, she was saying "We should have a meeting here!" We were invited back by this bartender as well, for their weekly Monday night football party once the season starts.From there, we went to Cheers, (where they still don't know my name) and I took a few drunken moments to delete some pictures from my phone... I then willingly and knowingly broke this blog's Prime Directive, and posted this picture of Me and New Girlfriend. This violation was primarily because she wasn't in attendance, and I missed her. I believe I got kinda mushy about it too... Don't like it? Tough. I'm in love.I then took this picture (my favorite of the night) of the remaining group of Area 504 members gathered around a table at Cheers. I think it speaks for itself. Shortly after it was taken, we took a vote and wound up back at the Whisky Bar. I had wanted to sing another song, but as I began to sober up for the inevitable drive home, I decided against it. Some of the folks that had shown up were obviously Karaoke ringers, and were way better than I would be. Overall, It was a fun night of camaraderie and laughter, although Our beloved 504 Captain did express her disappointment that she wasn't three sheets to the wind by the time 2am rolled around... Raymond and I simply smiled and complimented her on her pacing. As I headed off for home, Rebecca, Raymond and the drunken Fin stumbled off to Uncle Larry's in hopes of yet more fun and adventure.

Me, I'm content to wait till the next pub crawl.

Live from the 504 pub crawl

the group at cheers, where oddly, no one knew our name.

Live (kinda) from the pub crawl.

I just wanted to post this picture because even though she isn't here tonight, i absolutely adore Cheri, and wish she was here. :(

Live from the 504 pub crawl

Rebecca and Raymond at 'sweets'. Buzzing less after the song. Jukebox is awesome :)

Live from the 504 pub crawl

me singing 'just a gigalo' at the whisky bar. Apparently i was just awesome. :)

Live from the 504 pub crawl

amy and sandi playing pool. Getting harder to make reports as i get tipsier. :)

Live from the 504 pub crawl

gotta love pabst blue ribbon on tap. :)

Live from the 504 pub crawl

the gang at the boom boom.. Amy won't let the assless chaps joke drop. :)

Sweeet.

You have a 61% chance of being abducted You have an above average chance of being abducted. You are into thinking about conspiracies and thinking for yourself � keep it up. But avoid going into the woods by yourself late at night. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Sometime in the year 2386...

A fairly unusual meme:

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Fine, but where do I buy the textbook?

Warning: possible violation of the prime directive ahead.

So, I'm having dinner with New Girlfriend and her kids, when her oldest (5 years old) looks up at me with big wide eyes and says, "Rob, you need to be my new Dad."

I look over at New Girlfriend and she's grinning from ear to ear. He doesn't take too everyone, apparently. I look down at him and say politely, "But you already have a Dad, kiddo. He's way more qualified than I am."

He thinks about this for a second, then says "Well, then you need to take lessons."

I laughed at this for ten minutes..

While I appreciate the manager's sense of humor... that is just wrong to do to someone. I Googled the girl's name on the internet, and it turns out that Hooters actually settled out of court for an undisclosed sum of money on this.

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mmmmm... sushi.

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Beware the paperwork surfing penguin of doom!

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Look what was on my desk this morning! Does my boss love me or what?

the "P&G' s scheduling sucks" pub crawl...

The story goes like this...

I was helping plan the next Area 504 pub crawl with the understanding that the date for it was going to be the 17th. Fortunately, My new Girlfriend had off that night from the Folgers plant, and was really looking forward to it

Problem was, we were misinformed... the pub crawl in question is actually the week after this one.... rather than dissapoint my sweetie, I'm inviting everyone who isn't in Area 504 to help us do a "not-so-dry" run this week. If you are in 504 and wish to do both events, you are of course welcome to join us.

the plan is to meet at Crazy Johnnies in Metairie around six for dinner this Friday, and proceed to sample the finest bars fat city has to offer.

for further details, or the rest of the evenings itinerary, please call or e-mail me.

The number of the beast...

Came across these on James Randi's website, and promptly laughed my butt off:

666 = number of the Beast
665 = older brother of the Beast
660 = approximate number of the Beast
66600 = zip code of the Beast
$665.95 = retail price of the Beast
DCLXVI = Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 = Number of the High-Precision Beast
0.666 = Number of the Millibeast
/666 = Beast Common Denominator
-666^½ = Imaginary number of the Beast
6.66^e3 = Floating point Beast
1010011010 = Binary number of the Beast
6, uh . . . what was that number again? = Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 = Area code of the Beast
666 mph = Speed limit of the Beast
$699.30 = Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 = Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 = Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 = Next week's Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 = Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 = Way of the Beast
666 F = Oven temperature for roast Beast
352 – Oven temperature for roast Beast in Europe
666(k) = Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg = Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66% = 5-yr CD interest rate at 1st Beast of Hell Nat. Bank, $666 min. deposit
$666/hr = Beast's lawyer's billing rate
Lotus 6-6-6 = Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 = Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 = CPU of the Beast
665.9997856 = Number of the Beast on a Pentium
666i = BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) = Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
1232 Octal, Apt. 29A = Beast's hexed address
668 = Next-door neighbor of the Beast
333 = The semi-Christ

This post brought to you by the letter "B"...

I got the letter “B” from Cheri… Here's how it works…. You ask me for a letter in the comments, I give you one, then you post that letter in your journal along with ten words of significance to you that start with that letter, and why they're significant. What a fun game! You know you want to play! :)

1) “Batman: The Dark Knight Returns”- the classic Frank Miller Batman story that made the teenage Rob realize that comics were for grown ups, too. Proof that every time I have tried to get out of a hobby, I always manage to get sucked right back in.

2) Bob- The one nickname derived from Robert that I REFUSE to answer to. I’m sorry, but I’m just not a quadrapelegic in the middle of the ocean.

3) Buick- my current ride. I adore my Maybelline… She’s got the personality of a Camaro, and the luxury of a Cadillac.

4) Brazil nuts- one of my few life-threatening allergies.

5) “Big man”- the one “nickname” a complete stranger can call me that will give me an immediate dislike of them. It’s not that I don’t think I am a big man… I just think it’s kinda rude for a stranger to label you as such.

6) Brannagan, (Zap)- my favorite Futurama character… “I suffer from a very sensual learning disability… I call it sexlexia.”

7) Blogging- my addiction, your entertainment.

8) “Build me up, Buttercup”- the ringtone I recently assigned to my new special someone.

9) Becca- one of my oldest and dearest friends.

10) Brooklyn Tech- my high school alma mater.

Bonus number 11) Boy... that was harder than I thought!
Bonus number 12) Bonus- lucky you, you get two of em!

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Found this under my desk while cleaning my office. It's a kareoke machine. I would ask why it's there, but i don't wanna know.

For those that think their lives couldn't get any better...

I refer you to this post on my brother's blog.

Of course, it could be even more awesome if they were opening for Atomic Thump...

I've got a fever...

That only a Play-Doh cowbell can cure.

Some funny on a rainy tuesday

It's raining here in New Orleans today, but we have a saying... you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes. If it doesn't clear up, then it wasn't the right ten minutes :)

On to the joke:

There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good.

He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ''It's in his sleeve!''

The magician chased the bird away.

The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ''It's in his pocket!''

The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.

The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.

They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ''I give up, what'd you do with the ship?''

14 reasons why it's better to date a fangirl...

1) She's much less likely to drag you to a chick flick, but way more likely to drag you to a Harry Potter flick.
2) She gets your joke about how many Pakleds it takes to screw in a light bulb.
The answer is two... one to replicate the bulb, the other to kidnap Geordi.
3) She finds the stories about the exploits of your D&D character fascinating.
4) Her response to you bragging about how you detailed your Millennium Falcon model with the blast marks in the right position: "Coooool."
5) The day after you sit through a ten hour Dr. Who marathon with your friends, she asks you if you want to watch the Dr. Who episodes she has on her DVR without even thinking you might refuse. (You wouldn't.)
6) She understands completely how cool the Midnight Harry Potter release was.
7) She has no problem meeting you over coffee just to discuss the latest episode of Heroes.
8) She thinks your facination with Superheroines and Orion Slave Girls is funny, not creepy.
9) You drop a Princess Bride reference in your conversation, and she not only gets it, but comes up with a more obscure one.
10) She's just as likely to have an attic full of action figures as you are.
11) She's not surprised that you have a Superhero/Jedi/Star Trek costume... she's just impressed that you made them yourself.
12) You don't have to explain to her who Dr. Franknfurter, Gort, Fezzig, or Neil Gaiman are.
13) She giggles when you call non-fanfolk "Mundanes" or "Muggles".
14) She insists you need to see just as many movies as you insist she needs to see.

About the prime directive...

The Prime Directive, as stated by the branch of Starfleet with it's meathooks sunk into the DOA management reads as follows:

Directive 001- No post shall be made to Dogs of Atlantis that would interfere with the natural development of the authors relationship with a female. This includes, but is not limited to revealing feelings, emotions, and/or funny/flattering situations which may or may not make said female's heart melt like a ice sculpture at a Hawaiian lava festival, no matter how funny/flattering said anecdotes may or may not be.

Directive 001.1- Remember, my Mom reads my blog.

Directive 001.2- (the James T. Kirk clause) These laws are binding unless said female is an exceptionally hot Orion slave girl or a genuine Superheroine, in which case it would be impossible to get the blog's author to shut up about it.

The Prime Directive is perhaps the biggest and most necessary limitation I put upon what goes on these pages. As such, it also turns out to be one of the more questionable ones, as evidenced by this post, titled "Prime Directive my ass!" which includes one of the best verbal descriptions of me I have ever read (and may have put on my next business cards). It's the part with all the slashes in it. :) I am linking to it so that I will not be accused of not providing my readers with a fair and balanced point of view. Think of it as the 'democratic response'.

In short, kids... your beloved Webkahunah once again has a love life that he won't talk about, but is enjoying immensely.

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And this is the agony of defeat. At least the wings were good :)

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Tonight, Ducky and i are at hooters. He won a gas card here a few weeks ago, and is entered in tonight's drawing for a trip to vegas. He has a one in eight chance.

Posting from the past...

I was talking to a new friend about certain posts on my blog, specifically those pertaining to why I don't post about my love life, my Mission: Impressable posts, and that period of my life when life was just one adventure after another that nearly involved me getting killed.

Mission: Impressable 1
Mission: Impressable 2
Why I don't post about my love life
Nearly getting myself killed by drinking the water
Nearly getting myself killed by getting hit by a train
Nearly getting myself killed on the highway

So, what is it about this new friend that warrants me talking about such things? Well as we all know, I am forbidden by the prime directive to talk about certain things, but she put up a very flattering post about me on her MySpace blog that I think explains it.

No, I'm not linking to it. That would be a direct violation of the prime directive, kids. Starfleet doesn't f#@k around with those that violate it.

About that last post...

The post below was my first test of the new system blogger has in place to allow people to post blog entries from their cell phone.

It worked, and this is a very awesome thing. The only issue I have with it is that I can't change the subject line from the cell phone, and it will always come up as "multimedia message".

Well, no one ever said being an early innovator was easy.

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This is a test of the DOA text blogging system. This is only a test. Had this been an actual blog, it would have been funnier. :)

Cue creepy theme music

Okay, I scored 100% on this test, which challenges you to tell the difference between crimes in Scooby Doo episodes and real-world crimes.

This means I either have a good memory for unusual crimes or I watch way too many cartoons.

Life is funny...

It always amazes me how life just sort of happens to most people... unsummoned and without warning, the lives we lead have a tendancy to simply shape themselves into existence. How chance encounters lead us in directions uncharted, and unexpected.

Pretty deep thought for a sunday, but I'm in a fairly good mood with nowhere else to direct the idea. :)

Sandifest (tm) results

I know that the burning question is on the minds of some: Who won the
Sandifest ™ scavenger hunt?

Well, when the three teams arrived at the Rendezvous Cafe, all were
psyched and ready to compete. Originally, I had wanted the hunt to
begin in the parking lot of the restaurant, but as it was raining we
all met inside by the bar. The wait staff (while obviously bewildered
at the sudden surge of buisiness on this rainy Saturday) were very
nice and accommodating to the hordes of silliness I had unleashed upon
them in the name of Sandi's birthday.

Sandi and I unpacked the trophies and door prizes (several very cool
buttons). I then made sure I had all the team captains contact numbers
before reading the rules. Team Exhibition, (in their Expedition,
consisting of team captain Raymond, Rebecca, Petri, Charlotte, Ragnar,
and the still gestating Fin spawn) seemed confident of an easy win.
Team Slaughter, (in a mini van, consisting of team captain and forum
newcomer Cheri, and four of her friends whose names I can't remember),
obviously had the eye of the tiger thing going on. Team Gilbeau (in
the Gilbeau family jeep, consisting of Amy, Bobby, Paige, and Amy's
librarian friend whose name I cannot seem to remember either. Damn
this short term memory loss!) was fairly sure of themselves as well
despite the other teams having numerical superiority and larger
vehicles. After a quick review of the rules, (and some disagreement
about the `no interpretive dance during the hunt' rule) the teams were
given their scavenger lists, and the race was on.

The list consisted of 58 items, 27 photos of varying point value, and
instructions for finding the finish line. Among the items and photos I
was more proud of including were:

A birthday gift for Sandi
A piece of clothing from a member of another team
A male stripper
A photo of Sandi prior to 1977
A nationally recognized celebrity
A speeding ticket dated that evening
A street sign that reads "Sandy Cove"
A photo of the team re-enacting a historical event
A photo of the team in a fountain
A photo of the team with a wal-mart greeter
A photo of a team member pumping a stranger's gas for them
A photo of the team with a cop, (extra points if team is in handcuffs,
assuming the position holding donuts)
A photo of the team re-creating a Beatles album cover

The finish line clues were a shopping list… teams needed to get
specific digits of each product's upc code, when all were obtained,
they would give them a phone number of a friend of mine that would
reveal the finish line to be at the Fox and Hound, where Sandi and I
waited patiently for the teams to arrive. After all the teams were in,
the points were tallied, team Slaughter edged out team Exhibition by a
narrow 161 point margin to win first place.

That's right... the team that started at 7:1 odds won. Anyone who had
taken me up on a ten dollar bet would have won 70 bucks. Thank
goodness it was just a joke.

Among the highlights of the evening (for me, anyway… anyone who
participated feel free to add their own)
Team Exhibition's photo of Rebecca, Ragnar, and Raymond re-enacting
the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
Team Slaughter's story about how each time they convinced a cop to
pose for a picture, the cop would get called away on police buisiness.
Team Gilbeau tracking down Sandi's Mom to get childhood photos of her.
And what had to be the best pic of the evening… team Exhibition's
recreation of the "Abbey Road" album.

The important thing is that everyone had a great time. Thank you to
all who participated. We'll have to do it all again soon!

A post dedicated to Stacey

Because I read this and immediataely thought of those pink flip flops she always wears

fun with quantum physics...

I have a bet on this one, that at least 10 of my friends will get this joke... If you get it, please leave me a comment saying so. I laughed pretty hard at it.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Sandifest (tm) 2007

This year for Dizzy's birthday, I've put together something special... Heck, it beats buying a gift :) the official press release follows:

Attention, attention, and hear ye hear ye!

Sandifest(tm) 2007 will be on July 14, 2007, at whereupon we shall begin the celebration of the latest anniversary of Sandi's (Dizzy, to regular readers of this blog) 29th trip around the sun.

The staging area for the traditional Sandifest(tm) Scavenger Hunt will be in the parking lot of the Rendezvous cafe, 3001 General Degaulle in algiers at 6:30pm.

Teams participating in the hunt will be competing for a lovely trophy, or perhaps a few loving cups if we can find them cheap on ebay.

Teams should bring:
A swimsuit
A digital camera or cameraphone
A flashlight
A car
A map
A sense of humor
A change of underwear
A friend :)

I would also recommend that the teams carpool to the starting point.

The location of the actual party will not be at the Rendezvous, but will be part of the hunt. It will also be revealed to all teams unable to find the location if the party before 8pm at 8pm. Teams should be aware though, that finding the party will be the highest point value
on the scavenger hunt. If you are not planning on participating in the hunt, please register with Sandifest (tm)'s official promoter and sponsor (Rob "the Webkahunah" Cerio) and he will let you in on this closely guarded secret.

Teams may be any size. Remember that the point is to have fun! All who read these words are welcome to attend. This includes any readers of my blog that may be so inclined. I'll be the fat guy in the loud Hawaiian Shirt.

Please feel free to ask questions :)

Some funny on a wednesday...

A 2007 study (recently completed) found that the average Cajun walks about 900 miles per year.

A separate study found that Cajuns drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.

That conclusively means, on average, Cajuns get about 41 miles per gallon.

Braaaaaains!

Becca sent out a Myspace bulletin with this, but I thought it was funny enough to post here:
Now all you wannabe Zombies remember... intestines are very high in cholesterol.

USA! USA! USA!

While you were all enjoying a day off and maybe a backyard barbeque in the company of friends on the 4th, on coney island our country's bragging rights were being re-secured for the first time in six years.

That's right, boys and girls... read for yourself the thrilling story about the mustard belt coming home.

Talk about your effective advertizing...

This clip is enough to make me buy this product immediately, and a box for everyone I know.



Fight Noise pollution, Y'all... don't have kids.