Well, once again this year, the time is upon us to give thanks for all that we tend to take for granted throughout the year, and many of us sit at the table in front of the turkey thinking about what we are truly thankful for. I'm spending this thanksgiving in Jackson, MS with my good friends Stacey and Drew. I know I probably could have fenagled my way into an invitation closer to home, but with all that has happened in the past few weeks, I figured I really needed to get out of town for a few days. To think, to clear my mind, to release the lingering guilt over the end of my marriage, and of course to reflect.
For me, thanksgiving throws me into an exceptionally reflective state, and I guess that's kinda the point, right? So, with all that has happened over the past year in my life, what do I have to be thakful for?
1)My health. No heart attacks so far. Although my friend Lauren pointed out just the other day that I could have had one and never know about it. Like I don't have enough to worry about, now I've started saying to myself "oh, NO! I feel fine! I could be having a heart attack!"
2)My carrer. Things going exceptionally well at the lighthouse lately, and the higher-ups seem to think I'm reponsible. Who knew?
3)My Friends. Through this difficult time, they have all been there for me in every way possible. I could list folk by name, but I don't want to leave anyone out. Y'all know who you are.
4)My family. We may be disfunctional, but when I think about how my "immediate family" has suddenly changed with the breakup, I realize that my parents and brother are a damn fine bunch. There are fences there that need to be mended, sure... but at least they aren't fifty feet tall and electrified, like the one with my mother-in-law.
5)Lastly, I am thankful that despite how she probably feels about it, Charity is getting the help she needs. The psych ward is no place to spend a holiday traditionally reserved for family, but I know that it may be for the best. I just hope that through the haze in her mind right now, that she still realizes how much she is loved...
Well, Happy thanksgiving to you and yours. May your blessings exceed your expectations, and may your turkey never be dry.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Thursday, November 18, 2004
How did Doogie do it?
Doogie Howser, I mean... the guy would sit at his computer week after week, with something insightful to say. Me, I'm lucky if I even sit here typing, much less offer some true insight. Maybe this whole Charity thing just has me down to the point where I'm losing my creative spark and sparkling wit, But maybe I just need better writers.
Still, let's try the whole insight thing this week, and see where it goes, shall we? After all, my last "insight" entry was pretty funny... ("life is short")
This week's insight: No matter what direction you think your life will lead you, it will invariably have ideas of it's own.
We are just passengers in the car of life, folks... and someone else is obviously doing the driving. If I could go back in time, say fifteen years, and explain to my younger self all that has happened from living in New Orleans, to Char's illness, to the eventual breakup of my marraige, I doubt I would believe me. (much less the idea that I was testing a time machine)
In fact, I would assume that the time travel thing had driven me thouroughly mad, and would check into "wacko" insurance. So, of course, when I was twenty or so, I know what phrase would have convinced me... "Someone else has the keys." You see, one of Pop Cerio's fave cliches is "life is like a car, and you are the driver". Well, mine's a lemon, with a sadistic drunk behind the wheel.
I need to take away the bastard's keys.
Still, let's try the whole insight thing this week, and see where it goes, shall we? After all, my last "insight" entry was pretty funny... ("life is short")
This week's insight: No matter what direction you think your life will lead you, it will invariably have ideas of it's own.
We are just passengers in the car of life, folks... and someone else is obviously doing the driving. If I could go back in time, say fifteen years, and explain to my younger self all that has happened from living in New Orleans, to Char's illness, to the eventual breakup of my marraige, I doubt I would believe me. (much less the idea that I was testing a time machine)
In fact, I would assume that the time travel thing had driven me thouroughly mad, and would check into "wacko" insurance. So, of course, when I was twenty or so, I know what phrase would have convinced me... "Someone else has the keys." You see, one of Pop Cerio's fave cliches is "life is like a car, and you are the driver". Well, mine's a lemon, with a sadistic drunk behind the wheel.
I need to take away the bastard's keys.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
10- If "A" Then goto "reaction A"
There are times in all of our lives when ouside forces conspire to unravel the carefully woven tapestry that is our lives. What I like to think makes us all unique is how we react to that unraveling.
But that's hardly true, now is it? We all seem to be hardwired to react in a very specific and predictable way to the outside stimuli we all face on a daily basis.
For instance... if you get hit in the face with a pie, your reaction would probably involve the following...
First, you would wipe your face... and be angry. Second, you would smile, and see the humor in it. Third, you would look around for another pie to exact your revenge.
My point is, we all would react to this situation in roughly the same way. maybe a little more angry, maybe a little more jovialy, but the undercurrent would always be the same.
But why?
Does "stimulus A" always have to mean "response B"? or is this just some form of conditioning that we have all been indoctrinated to? Why does getting hit with a pie mean we should laugh at the idiocy of the situation? and Why is the appropriate followup another pie, and not say... a shotgun?
Not that I've been hit by any pies lately.
Still, recent events in my life have started me thinking about this principle. Other, perhaps more relevant examples would be things like "if girlfriend or wife cheats" response is "end relationship"... or "If you get hit by a car" response is "you must sue regardless of injury"... or even "country attacked by terrorists" response "must go to war with everyone"
I think the true test of a person's charecter is how often they Don't go with the "response B". So, in the intrest of science... try this for a day: every time something happens that would make you say, angry, ask yourself "is this the only reaction I could have?" Let me know what happens.
But that's hardly true, now is it? We all seem to be hardwired to react in a very specific and predictable way to the outside stimuli we all face on a daily basis.
For instance... if you get hit in the face with a pie, your reaction would probably involve the following...
First, you would wipe your face... and be angry. Second, you would smile, and see the humor in it. Third, you would look around for another pie to exact your revenge.
My point is, we all would react to this situation in roughly the same way. maybe a little more angry, maybe a little more jovialy, but the undercurrent would always be the same.
But why?
Does "stimulus A" always have to mean "response B"? or is this just some form of conditioning that we have all been indoctrinated to? Why does getting hit with a pie mean we should laugh at the idiocy of the situation? and Why is the appropriate followup another pie, and not say... a shotgun?
Not that I've been hit by any pies lately.
Still, recent events in my life have started me thinking about this principle. Other, perhaps more relevant examples would be things like "if girlfriend or wife cheats" response is "end relationship"... or "If you get hit by a car" response is "you must sue regardless of injury"... or even "country attacked by terrorists" response "must go to war with everyone"
I think the true test of a person's charecter is how often they Don't go with the "response B". So, in the intrest of science... try this for a day: every time something happens that would make you say, angry, ask yourself "is this the only reaction I could have?" Let me know what happens.
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