Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Arrrgh… A little about me Buddy, Drew…

Seeing as how me good friend Drew was the only scurvy swab confident enough to take a guess as to my vacation whereabouts, he be the winner of the “Where’s Robbo?” contest. It should be noted for all you sea salts out there that his answer was only half right… While I did indeed partake in the plunder of yer nation’s capitol, I also made me way up ta see me pappy. Along the way, I made the aquaintence of various wenches and scullery maids that ain’t been seen by my eyes in a whale’s age. I would make the obligatory “booty” joke here, but it seems forced somehow.

By now, I know there be those of you land-lubbers wondering why it sounds like this entry be logged by the dread pirate Kahunah… Fer those not in the know, today is national “talk like a pirate” day here in the states. In addition to giving me an excuse to wear me eye patch, it affords me the rare opportunity to write the winning log entry about Drew in pirate speak, which be far more fun than seems would be allowed by law.

I met the scurvy dog back in the school of higher learnin that I met most of me friends… where while I spent most of my time chasing haughty wenches, Drew spent his time learnin ta build things what make use of the power behind Poseidon’s stormy bolts from the sky. While many would probably think that Drew was unlucky in the ways of cupid back then, Twas not his fault ya see… as his Privateer Place room was built upon cursed ground, which allowed none who laid their head there to ever get laid… but instead allowed those around him to consistently get some in his room when he be not there. I would tell you some of me better scandalous Drew stories, but he now be a family man, and it just don’t seem right somehow.

I will however tell you the story of how all the educatin’ in the world will never make up for the stupidest thing I have ever seen him do. We were out for a night on the town, having gathered a veritable heard of wenches into the back of his old Chevy Cavalier and made our way along the costal waters to the port of Biloxi fer doughnuts. As I recall, we crammed three wenches of ample frame, Myself, a Duck, and Drew into a car designed to seat four at the most. There was ample booty, (sorry, couldn’t resist) but I was riding shotgun and merely laughed heartily at the sight of the wenches squeezed into the back seat like dubloons in a buried chest. We were on our way home when Drew makes a turn to port… right onto the port side of a divided highway… completely ignoring all the oncoming headlights, and the large red signs saying “WRONG WAY”. I covered me eyes. The women screamed. The Duck quacked loudly. Drew calmly said, “oh, wait… this is the wrong way.”, put the car into reverse, backed quickly to the intersection where the trouble began, and us back on course on the STARBOARD side of the road.

To this day, when I catch him doing something stupid, I say “Ruh-ohn-guh wuh-ay Drew.” If ye sounds it out, it’s a lot funnier.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Tagged like the fat kid in the playground....

Tagged by Mel:

State three for each of the following:

Favorite food you eat till you puke and don't mind eating it again and again and puke it all over again:

1. Barbeque Spare Ribs.
2. Souvlaki sauce from Mike’s Place on almost anything.
3. chocolate chip cookies

Favorite stores to shop till you drop (and might never fit in their clothing, but you buy their stuff anyways, because you are in denial):

1. Wal-mart
2. Toys ‘R’ Us
3. Barnes and Noble

Favorite shows that you quote like madness and will totally attend a convention if ever existed:
1. Star Trek (quelle suprise.)
2. Family Guy
3. South Park

Favorite movies that you just never get tired of:

1. Mel Brooks’ History of the World- Part 1
2. Star Trek II- The Wrath of Khan
3. Galaxy Quest

Things you wish to do before you die:

1. Prove to the world that I’m not a loser.
2. Get paid to write something.
3. Pull off a prank that will garner national attention (A.K.A: ‘the big one’)

Places you want to go before you die:

1. Beyond the Horizon
2. Above the atmosphere
3. Where no man has gone before

Things you fear the most:

1. Death
2. Horses
3. Falling

Things that make you happy:

1. Orion Slave Girls
2. Hot Asian chicks
3. Both of the above, simultaneously.

Things that you wish to excel in:

1. Telling jokes
2. Helping others
3. fighting the good fight

You feel strongest about:

1. My privacy (That’s right, all you psychologists… make sense of that).
2. Freedom of speech and expression (in the form of beer can siding)
3. Learning from my own experiences.

Your favorite quotes:

1. “The principles of freedom must apply to everyone or they are meaningless”- James T. Kirk
2. "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke
3. “God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.”- Ben Franklin

Tag 'em:
Anyone who has a blog that doesn’t post comments on mine.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Where's Robbo?

YOWZA, work has been busy since I got back. It’s been getting so it’s next to impossible for me to get in a full six hours of goofing off lately.

What? You think I actually work?

So, where did I go? Away. And I still didn’t get sand and surf under my feet. I figure instead of filling your life with the gory details, I’ll make it a fun, quiz type thingie for y’all instead.

My vacation involved:

Spaceship one
The Wright Flyer
Devil Dogs
Red Sangria
Dwarf Planet Pluto
Burlesque shows that left a friend covered in glitter
Freak shows that I vicariously attended
The "Peanut" M&M dressed like Chewbacca
Telling stories about the blasted hurricane (grrr)
A mad dash to catch a plane
Frank Sinatra
Ducks that fart at midnight

Best theory posted in the comments as to my whereabouts gets a special DOA article all about them, suitable for framing. Those that encountered me on my travels are inelligible.