Wednesday, February 25, 2009
(I'm sorry, but having pubes should be a requirement to operate an automobile.)
Anyway, as I sat in the waiting room, I was privy to the following heartfelt exchange:
Dingy blond teenage girl: "I think I got one wrong. How far do you have to park from a railroad crossing?"
Her equally dingy friend checks the driver's manual: "fifty feet."
DBTG:"Fifty feet? How do they expect you to judge that?"
EDF:"I don't know."
DBTG:"Isn't that like, the length of a football field?"
EDF:"Like, I think that's fifty yards, not feet."
DBTG: "So, how far is it?"
EDF: "Well, there's three feet in a yard..."
DBTG: "So, three football fields? That's really far!"
EDF: "Yah... no one pays attention to that. People always park closer to the railroad than that."
DBTG: "What a stupid question."
All I could think of as I snickered and relayed the conversation to Silverfox via text message is that the Metro area schools have failed these girls, and our society is about to put both of them behind the wheel.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
GoAnimate.com: Underdog Begins
Like it? Create your own at GoAnimate.com. It's free and fun!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Your Valentine's Day Personality is Practical
As far as you're concerned, Valentine's Day is simply a commercial holiday.
You don't place any real meaning on it. You don't think it deserves too much celebration.
For you, Valentine's Day is just the day you avoid restaurants and candy stores.
If you love someone, you already show it. You don't need to go all out for a silly holiday to prove your love.
Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"
A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out
Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking
What turns you off: fighting and conflict
Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love
Thursday, February 12, 2009
That's right kids... Pint Size was being healed by Doctor Love.
I kept trying not to snicker, especially when the doc had to stick Pint Size with a needle, and my brain kept screaming at me "My boy is getting a shot from Dr. Love three days before Valentine's day!!! Bwah-hah-ha!!!" Every time Silverfox asked me to go find the man, a chorus of Motley Crue's "Calling Dr. Love" strted playing in my head over and over again.
I couldn't help before they discharged us to tell the good Doctor that I imagined he takes a great deal of ribbing for his name this time of year... he just grinned and replied "Yeah... I won't work on Valentines day."
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
In the dream, Pint Size was a contestant on the show, and came toddling down the runway in front of RuPaul and his/her judges in a lovely blue chiffon dress. He paused for a moment at the end of the runway and yelled "DA DA DA-DA DA!" at them before toddling right back. Sadly, Pint size got eliminated at the end of the show, and started crying loudly when RuPaul told him to "sashay away" for good.
When I woke up the next morning, I set our DVR to record the RuPaul show for Silverfox, so she will never need to watch it in our bedroom again.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, ''Follow me.''
The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.
''Thanks so much,'' says the theatergoer, ''This seat is perfect.'' He then hands the usher a quarter.
The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, ''The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick.''
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
I also however, have decided to make exceptions to this rule upon occasion... For those of you that may have missed it, Last night's episode of Chuck was in 3D, so I decided to let the kid watch it with us:
I mean, come on... It's in 3D for crying out loud! Sure, there's a little more sexiness than he's used to seeing on Spongebob, and Casey on the whole is way more violent than the Muppets generally are, but 3D TV in HD!!
This turned out to be a bit of a mistake. At one point in the episode, Chuck gets trapped in a hotel suite with two hot chicks that undress him, and then try to kill him by throwing knives at him.
This scene unexpectedly turned out to be a little more intense than Short Stuff could handle. At the next commercial break, he took off his 3D glasses and curled up into the corner of the couch.
"You okay, kiddo?" I asked.
"I'm scared." Short Stuff said, "Those women with the knives are scary. Why did they try to kill him?"
"Because they're strangers." I said, ad-libbing, "Let that be a lesson to you... never let women you don't know take you to a hotel to take your pants off."
"Because they will throw knives at me?"
"Women are evil."
Silverfox chimed in at this.... "Nice. You're turning our son off of women. Great job, 'father of the year'."
"Shush. The point isn't that women are evil, Short Stuff... the point is that you shouldn't trust strangers."
"Especially strangers that try to take my pants off?"
"Or they will throw knives at me?"
"Not always, but it's still a bad idea."
"Can I go play on the computer now?"
Monday, February 02, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Honorable mentions need to go out to the shot of what I can only assume is Devastator from the Transformers trailer, and the awsome three-deeness of the Monsters vs Aliens trailer. Totally worth the extra trip to the grocery store for the glasses.
Gonna be a great summer to be a geek.