Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Robbie Gras Details...

For all concerned and wishing to partake in the joy of Robbie Gras... I'm thinking that it will be toned down a bit this year, much like Mardi Gras. Venues that would normally be perfect simply are not back to normal, or what passes for normal in this city... and chosing a place was hard. (much thanks to Dizzy for helpintg with the call-around) It has been a rough year, and I think this year's Robbie Gras will reflect that. So, right now the plan is that I will be at the Dry Dock Cafe at approximately 7pm, with every intention of getting fitshased. All who read these words are of course, welcome.

Also I would like to address something that was recently asked of me in an e-mail... Why do I not talk about my love life/dates/women/snugglebuddies here? The answer is actually quite simple... there are certain aspects of my life I would rather the world not know about, and my social life, (pathetic though it may be) is one of them. Also, a gentleman does not kiss and tell.

Friday, January 27, 2006

A dose of comedy...

Our mayor and his Non-chocolate constituents.

For more, go to: I'm not chocolate

A Dose of devestation....

It's been months since the storm. New Orelans is becoming a three ring circus of errors as rebuilding efforts meet a wall of bipartisan politics. The conversation goes something like this:

Federal Government: Just get your act together, New Orleans, come up with a plan, and we'll help foot the bill.

New Orleans: Okay, but what about our citizens stuck in other cities?

F.G.: Well, we'll put them up in a nice hotel till we can send some trailers from our cousin FEMA. Don't worry, we're on top of it!

(Months pass)

New Orleans: Hey, we got da plan, Now where's that money?

F.G.: Money? what money?

New Orleans: And what about those trailers?

F.G.: yeah, sorry about that.. Cousin FEMA dropped teh ball on that one... we had no idea you had that many people, son.

New Orleans: Well, at least you're still putting us up in a nice hotel.

F.G.: yeah... about that... no one told us that you would all still need housing for this long, so they're out.

New Orleans: Huh?

F.G.: Well, I hear your neighbor has called Willy Wonka in to help... maybe he has some space at his place. He has to keep dem oompa-loompas somewhere.

You get the idea. As if it wasn't enough, things like this piss me off to no end. Also, my new neighbors braved the storm, and were about town with a camera soon after. They lent me a CD with the photos on it... only a few days after travel was permitted in Orleans Parish... among the highlights:

Boats wound up in unlikely places.

The ferry I used to take to work was no exception.

The old coast guard lighthouse on the lakefront.

What's left of the southern yacht club.

And the remains of Joe's Crab Shack.

Mind you, there were a bunch of other shots detailing the damage to the city, but too many for me to post easily. If everyone wants to see em, i'll start a flicker account or something.

Later, y'all.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

A Dyno-meme...

From my good buddy Dave who finally up and got his own blog. it's bloggariffic, I tell ya.

What makes us human

My good quirks
My laugh.
The ability to make light of almost any subject.
The love of road tripping, and the open road in general.
The ability to make a fool of myself in the car when a good song is on the radio.
The qualities that make me a true Superman fan also make me a fairly good christian.
Always up for trying something new, especially if it sounds fun.

My bad quirks (added to this meme by yours truly)
If I can do something, I don't consider it art, or even all that special.
I snore.
Zero tolerance for those unwilling to learn.
Not real charming around new people

My food quirks
Lucky charms mixed with Fruity Pebbles
Hold the goddamn pickles!
Deep fried snickers!
Pumpkin butter and bannana sandwiches

My sleep quirks
Sleep mask
Ear plugs
Talk in my sleep
the "jump" thing right as I doze off.

Quirky folk I tag: (also added by yours truly)

Movie post.

A neat little movie thingamabob that showed up on my brother's site...

My Favorite movies:
Create your own Movie List @ HotFreeLayouts!

For those of you doing your Robbie Gras shopping, I don't have any of the "Smokey and the Bandit" movies, or the "Blues Brothers". I do have all the rest. I also have that complete "Flash" series, but have yet to find the first season of "Batman Beyond" or "Justice League".

Please... like y'all don't drop any hints?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

How to: Robbie Gras.

Well, to clarify some of the previous post, and for all my readers overseas that want to know how to hold their own Robbie Gras celebrations, I offer the following "how to" guide:

Robbie Gras for Dummies

Robbie Gras is normally celebrated on the 5th of February, or the nearest covienient saturday. The point is to celebrate the things in life that make it the most fun, those being Friends, Food, Drink, and good times. To this end, the absolute must have in any Robbie Gras celebration is the Robbie Gras ball.

While individual celebrations have varied over the years, the party should make use of a decent bar, good music, and whatever personnel is available at the time. In addition, there should be at least one good group activity available, be it "lets see how fast we can push someone down the hall in a shopping cart" or "a lecherous photo scavenger hunt".

It is also adviseable to have the following jobs filled for the evening, preferably by separate people.

Rob- Usually, a big guy whose sole purpose of the evening is to take my place at your celebration. He should wear a hawaiian shirt, and be as drunk as is safely possible. Any Robs can feel free to write me if they need advice on getting into charecter, but I find watching a tape of "Animal House" and modeling your behavior after Bluto will work just as well. Just don't accidentally watch "Popeye".

Beer Wench- A female wearing something low cut, whose job it is to fetch beer when instructed. Must chug a beer if she spills one.

Grope mistress- This is a new position, suggested to me a few years ago. Also a female, (but would be really funny if male) The grope mistress is primarily there to keep the beer wench from being groped. (So, get y'alls minds out of the gutter) The penalty for said gropeage is determined solely by the Grope mistress. The prefered costume is as much leather as possible, and a little sign worn over the butt that says "Grope mistress" purely for the entertainment value.(Yes, I am slightly evil.)

Chauffeur- An important part of any Robbie Gras celebration, the chauffeur is responsible for making sure that no one gets behind the wheel drunk, and that everyone has somewhere to crash if too intoxicated to do so. Must be formally attired, with one of those funny hats.

If your town celebrates Mardi Gras or some other form of Carnival, attending said event (be it parade or county fair) is a must, as is making spectacles of yourselves at said event, be it through "Robbie Gras" signage, costume, or just being loud and raucus.

Any questions?

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Robbie Gras update

Well, Robbie gras is a scant 13 days away, so those of you planning to celebrate "the twelve days of Robbie Gras" better get crackin tomorrow.

I have been thinking a lot about what to do this year for my birthday of late, and had a few ideas, none of which seem to capture my current state of mind. Dizzy had suggested I try to set up a Kahunahhunt, but a K-hunt is an event unto itself, and an awful lot of work for some folk to not make it to the finish line. I had also thought about a scavenger hunt type deal, similar to what the amazing Dyno-man came up with for us to do last year, but again... way too much effort. This year, I'm thinking... I may just keep it simple.

I'm thinking a bar... I'm thinking some food... I'm thinking shooting some pool or some equally social type thing. I should have the 4th and 5th off from the ambition-draining-kink-in-the-social-life that is my job, so right now, I'm thinking the 4th,(Robbie Gras eve) with plans on riding the wave of ensuing merriment until the 5th (Robbie Gras day).

Now although this seems like a simple task... I have found that NOTHING is simple post-Katrina. I need to find a place that is open late enough and still fun for all.

Right now, should you be intending on joining me for Robbie Gras... plan on keeping from like 7ish-till on the 4th of Feb open in your calendar, and plan on being in the New Orelans Metro area. I also need a beer wench and grope mistress voulenteer. Apply the usual way at the usual time. Bring a swimsuit.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Experiment results... and one of those useless, unentertaining meme's I get tagged for...

Well, I hereby label my "head count" a failure. Dizzy seems to think that the reason I get so many hits from around the world is folks looking for the video game "DOA". Alas, we may never know...

And now, a Meme, tagged unto me by Drew you know, I get tagged for a lot of things... maybe I should start doing "meme mondays"

The Quatro meme...

Four Jobs I've Had in My Life:

3)tourist information specialist
4)paranormal researcher

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have:

1)"dude, where's my car"
2)"history of the world part 1"
3)"superman 2"
4)"the princess bride"

Four Places I Have Lived:

1)The open road
2)New Orleans, Louisiana
3)New York city
4)Planet Earth

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:

2)Gilmore Girls
3)Myth Busters
4)Battlestar Galactica

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation:

1)The blue ridge mountains
2)harriman state park
3)biloxi, mississippi
4)san fransisco, california

Four Websites I Visit Daily:

3)Atomic thump the return

Four Favorite Foods:

2)My mom's macaroni salad
4)shrimp po-boys

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

1)Upon the open road
2)Upon a calm sea
3)on a train bound for the orient
4)on a beach, sipping a mai-tai handed to me by a cute cabana girl.

Four People Whom I Tag Next:

1)Dave (Drew's right, you need to start a blog!)
2)Ray "Willy Wonka" Nagin
3)Bill Clinton

Saturday, January 14, 2006

head count-- an experiment of sorts

It has come to the attention of the management that there are a number of overseas readers of Dogs of Atlantis, as well as many American readers that live in parts of the country that quite frankly, befuddle us here at DOA. If you click on the "clustermap" link on the right, you will see what I mean... Now some, like Dreamwalker from New Zealand, I know about... but others (like the ones in japan, europe, and northern canada) I have no clue who you are.

So in the interests of fueling my ego a bit, and so that we here at DOA can more readily anticipate the needs of our regular readers, I would like everyone who reads this post to check in by posting a comment, and tell us the following:

Where are you?
What do you do there?
What would you like to see more of in these pages?
Do I actually know you outside the Blogsphere?

I'm pretty sure that the reader furthest away will prove to be either Dreamwalker or RedRio... (NZ and AUS) so instead of offering a prize for that, the reader whose responses are the most clever will get to be in an original cartoon based on them here on DOA.

Let the games begin!

The DOA Management would like to apologize in advance for any rude, crude, stupid, offensive, or otherwise dumb comments that arise as a result of this experiment. The comments for this post should be considered R rated until proven otherwise... (we know how Rob's friends can be, but can only speculate about his strangers) so send the kids out of the room :)

Friday, January 13, 2006

Ahhhh... the life of a wageslave.

Well, the first day of work found me making a less than spectacular impression. I was two hours late (no one called to tell me that I was even added to the schedule) and I wound up locking my new boss out of her office for a few hours. I also found out, that while I didn't have to take a cut in pay, I get NO benefits and NO perks. Not even a discount at the vending machine. (sigh) I suppose that this goes in the "be careful what you wish for" category, but I keep reminding myself that this job is only the means to an end. On the job training... not an actual job. When I leave this job, i will have a much more thurough outlook on what it takes to run a hotel or inn, which is what I really want to be doing.

So, in other news... I noticed these comments on the ol message board from "deleted" who thinks I don't know who she really is...:
"Two questions I meant to ask...

1)I have heard (news) that people will lose the rights to their property if they dont return to NO. Can this be true?
2)Do you really play the accordion?"

WARNING: semi-political rant ahead... please take all precautions when reading. Safety goggles and gas masks are available in the DOA lobby.

Well, what you heard on the news is not entirely true. The city council has decided to give each neighborhood currently slated for "greenspace reclaimation" a chance to "prove their viability". In short, if enough of your neighbors don't move back, they will buy you out and come on in with the bulldozers. Right now, should you want to bail on the city and live in one of the neighborhoods in dispute, the city will buy you out for 60% of the current market value of the home. If the neighborhood proves "unviable" they will offer you 100% of the current market value, which will probably be much less if the neighborhood is "unviable".

In short, if you're an optimist that already came back, and rebuilt... and enough of your neighbors around you don't... you're just outta luck and your home will be forcibly demolished as they hand you a check for how much they think your home is worth, regardless of how you feel about it.

Land of the free, indeed. Makes me gag thinking about it.

The crucial saturation point for most neighborhoods is 5000 residents. Not an easy feat when you consider that many of these neighborhoods in question still don't have any power or safe water, and the city won't issue any more rebuilding permits until they consider the neighborhood viable.

Seems to me that the city is actively discourageing many of my neighbors from returning. Sure the levee breaches demolished their nearby neighborhoods, but what I think outsiders dont understand is, that doesn't make them any less or more safe than many of the other neighborhoods that were spared. THE ENTIRE CITY IS BELOW SEA LEVEL! I can't help thinking that if the breaches had destroyed say... uptown by river bend, we would not be having this conversation. If the levee had breached near my home, (and I owned it) I would be damned if anyone is gonna tell me that I have no right to live here if I'm gonna foot the bill to rebuild and reclaim my life!

Anyway, to answer your second question, No... I can't play the accordion, but have always wanted to learn. The images on the Atomic Thump site are merely clever photoshop productions by yours truly. When we came up with the original idea behind Atomic thump, I thought it was important to have my character play an instrument no one would ever expect in a rock band... so it was either the accordion or the tuba. Tubas are way too heavy.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

New Orelans Update

Well, things seem to be progressing nicely here in the Big Easy... it's looking more and more every day like the city is gonna be back, and in style, within a year or so. Mind you, there are still parts of the city without power, people are living in trailers, and there is no such thing as fast food here anymore as the average wait time at my local Burger King is 25 minutes; Popeyes (real Popeyes, mind you , not the uberbland brandon substitute)is 36 minutes... and DON'T get me started about Taco Bell! Such is life, I suppose. The storm did a mess o' damage, and there's no getting around it. People are coming back, though... as more FEMA trailers become available. If anyone can think of a way to make money off of used FEMA trailers, let me know... I think that in about a year, they'll be a dime a dozen down here. Might make for a neat theme hotel... "the Post Katrina experience".

I went down to the French Quarter with Dizzy a few nights ago... And it's still eerily quiet. Still, more things are open... and more people are out and about. I had some benigets, and a good Cafe Du Monde cup of coffee. I also ran into a good friend from my old job, who is still living on one of the boats till his Trailer comes through.

Mardi Gras will be going forth this year... a sure sign of my city's perserverence. In addition, there's only 28 days to send out your Robbie Gras cards, do your Robbie Gras shopping, and plan your Robbie Gras celebrations. Of course, all of you people who read my blog worldwide are welcome to come on down to the big easy for Robbie Gras, and I would love to hear from y'all. (Dreamwalker... I'm looking at you!) As plans firm up for Robbie Gras, I will of course keep you posted.

The super good news of the week though, is that I GOT A JOB! Not a hoax, not an imaginary story induced by too many Froot Loops. I'll be working the front desk at a local hotel, which is exactly what I was looking for. And to think that I was a whisker away from taking a job doing oil changes.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Trivial tuesday!

Okay kids... today's vexations for you to ponder:

in the category of "Stoner Humor"
1)In the movie "Dude, Where's my car?" what are the twins first names?

In the category of "super science"
2) What was the name of the first cloned mammal?

In the category of "humorous history"
3) Who was the only U.S. president ever issued a patent?

In the category of "pop culture"
4) Elvis Presley only ever made one TV commercial. What was it for?

Cheat if you must, but fair warning: Cheaters never prosper. (unless of course you count the neumerous Ivy leaugers whose parents pay for their degrees every year)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Should old aquaintence be forgot... New Years day, 2006

Well, New Years eve was interesting... full of old friends, bar brawls, and the usual NYE insanity. I would go into details, but as I explained to Lyric last night, it is sooooo not my row to hoe.

For those of you unaware of it, I recomend Postsecret. I find it endlessly facinating, and occasionally one really speaks to me, like this one here:

Happy New Year, Y'all... may the coming year be free of divorces, tsunamis, and freakin hurricanes.