Oldest Kid: Dad, can you make me a PB&J sandwich?
Me: Sure kiddo, but I'll need your help. I'm hurting from the con.
Oldest Kid: Sure Dad. What do you need?
Me: Well, get the Peanut butter from the pantry, the jelly from the fridge, and the bread from the counter.
Oldest Kid: okay.
Me: Could you open the peanut butter for me? I wrenched my arm lifting boxes this weekend...
Oldest Kid: Sure.
Me: now take out two pieces of bread...
Oldest Kid: You're making me make this sandwich, aren't you?
Me: I'm just surprised it took you till the bread to figure it out.
Oldest Kid: jerk move, Dad. Jerk move.