Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Drunken babies... what will they think of next?

The Dogs of Atlantis Management would like to say that while the following post is meant to be funny, we in no way condone child abuse through accidentaly having a baby ingest alcohol. People who are dumb enough to do so don't deserve kids, and should be spayed and/or neutered.

I came across this story while watching the news last night, and it brought to mind the following questions:

1) How could she not smell that the clear liquid she was mixing with the baby formula wasn't water? Furthermore, did she not 'test' the bottle in any way before feeding it to her kid?

2) Do they have a 'worst dumb-ass parent ever' award (like the darwin awards for parenting)? If so, how do I nominate this lady?

3) How can one tell if a two month old is drunk? It's not like they start stumbling around and slurring their words, right? Furthermore, what prompted the doctors to check his blood for alcohol?

4) Why is there even a process for determining the blood alcohol level of an infant? It's not like they're gonna get behind the wheel of a car, right?

5) Wouldn't shotgunning the formula been more efficient than a bottle? For that matter, a funnel!

6) Do babies have drunken parties behind our backs?

7) At what point does alcohol not nearly kill you when ingested?

8) Wouldn't having a drunk baby take 'peekaboo' to a whole new level?

No comments: