Wednesday, June 28, 2006

A Super rant.

A message to the current crop of hollywood directors:

I know you have movies that inspired you to make films. I know you love these characters. I know you want to pay homage to the writers and directors that made you want to grab your mom’s super 8 camera and start shooting.

Please stop.

Making a longer movie doesn’t make it a better movie than the original. If you want to make new movies about these characters that you and I both love, please make them NEW MOVIES! Don’t just re-create your “vision” of what a classic movie scene should have been. Don’t just string together what you think will be “iconic” moments. ADD SOMETHING NEW TO THE STORY!

And not something stupid, like the infamous “apes on ice” scene in Peter Jackson’s King Kong.

And furthermore, don’t lift lines of dialogue directly from the original movie(s). WRITE NEW ONES!

Bryan Singer, I’m looking at you. Don’t try ducking behind Ang Lee. You are damned lucky I don’t have heat vision!

And please guys, find some comic book geeks to coach y’all the next time you make a super hero movie… or barring that, just let Kevin Smith give it a once over, okay?

Tim Burton’s “re-imagining” of Planet of the Apes, while not a critical success, was still original, and fun… An entirely new take on an old concept, while keeping the spirit of the original. This is the kind of movie you should be making, guys… try something new! Be a little daring! Stay true to the freaking characters or at least the concept!

Yours Truly,
Rob Cerio

Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest.

So, Dizzy scored us a couple of tickets to an advance screening of “Superman Returns” Monday night. When she told me she had the tickets, she was astonished to find out that I can make a “girly squeal” of delight. She knows how big a Superman fan I am, but had never seen me actually get giddy about something before. I was looking forward to this movie more than I have looked forward to…well… almost anything. (I was gonna use an example there, but it would have made my more sensitive readers blush)

I was completely unprepared to be so disappointed.

The movie is visually stunning. The effects are absolutely incredible. But there are five things about it that really bugged me. One, it was too long, and really dragged (almost 3 hours). The whole movie is long on effects, but short on plot. Two, while Bryan Singer did a great job of making Supes feel real, it was more like you were a citizen of Metropolis watching from the outside. When I see Superman fly, I want to feel like I’m flying alongside him, not just watching him zoom past. Three, I have issues with a major plot point of the movie, which I will be happy to discuss in the comments, but won’t spoil for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie. Four, there are some great scenes in the movie ruined by dialouge lifted directly, word for word, from the original Superman movies. There were opportunities there for really memorable new moments spoiled in the name of 'homage'. And five, the love story between Lois and Clark seemed way too forced. While I know that B.S. was going for the feel of the romantic flight that Lois took with the man of steel in Superman I, it just didn’t work. It dragged.

Guess I’ll just have to make my own damn movie now...

Monday, June 26, 2006

It' all about Meme Monday...

Culled from Stacey's blog, who apparently got it from myspace. What you do is answer the following in the comments section of my blog, then post it on your own so that I may have my revenge. Have fun, but please try not to give me a heart attack, okay? (y'all know exactly what I mean!)

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

This is brilliant....

I love Al Gore... he has such a great sense of humor about himself.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

A little reflection... and other maudlin crap.

So, I'm really enjoying the new job... it's an interesting departure for me to have an office job, but I admit I miss my job at Steamboat. Yesterday, my new boss asked me about my time there, and I went on a twenty minute tirade about how cool it was to work in the heart of the french quarter, for one of the city's many cultural icons. I must have made an impression, because today he comes up to my desk and offers to get a CD of the Steamboat Natchez Caliope music to play for me if I felt homesick...

Quite the wise ass, my new boss.

For almost 7 years, twice a day, I would have to hear the "loud, happy music" of the authentic steam caliope that adorns the Steamboat Natchez. Emphasis on the loud. I would plot daily new ways to sabotage the darn thing, and have my whole staff laughing at the prospect.

I will admit that when I first came back to the point after katrina, it brought a tear to my eye to hear the caliope's dulcet tones wafting on the breeze from across the river. It was a sign of hope to me, and I realized right then that someday, my city will be back as strong and vibrant as ever.

Of course, that was before being jaded by the past few months of the realities of post-katrina New Orleans. the state of the city has not improved very much, nearing 9 months after the storm. The Regional transit authority has stopped many of the city's bus lines and is planning on ending one of the streetcar lines, the national guard has been called in to help stem a rising wave of violent crime, people are worn and beaten with their daily lives, and the wait time in Burger King is still a half hour. While basic services have been restored to most of the city, many of the flooded homes still sit untouched while their owners try to get their lives back together, to a point where they might be able to start the rebuild. The other half of the city is in the world's largest trailer park, despondant, and without much hope. Summer only brings a new wave of misery with the usual intense heat that oppresses us as it does year after year, and the daily talk around the coffee shop tends to focus on the threat of the "next big one". Word is that they will evecuate the city if even a tropical storm heads this way. Not a bad idea with all the trailers... after all, high winds and FEMA trailers just don't mix.

I'm not in one, but would be pissed if a storm knocked on on top of my house.

Right now, I'm thinking of leaving New Orleans. Life here is more costly, and annoying than I ever believed it could be. Most of my friends have left for better opportunities, and it's difficult to not think that maybe I should do the same. I like the new job, and would hate to leave, but man... life is hard right now. I long for life as the rest of the nation is experiencing, where life is going on much as it has for many years, with hurricane Katrina a memory fast fading. Somewhere, kids still play, fast food is fast, and people don't talk about last year like it's some far off magic kingdom. Basically, as much as I love my hometown, I'd have to be an idiot not to at least think about looking for greener pastures.

Maybe I just need a vacation. I would ask the new boss, but he'd probably just install a heat lamp and a palm tree around my desk, and hand me a bottle of sunscreen. It's karma, I tell ya... years of picking on my staff with my goofy sense of humor have come back to haunt me.

Monday, June 19, 2006

It's a Meme Monday....

Culled this from Javafoofoo's blog... She didn't tag anyone in particular, but This one sounded fun and chock full of opportunity for wise-ass responses. Anyone who wants to pick up on it can.

The 55 things Meme... learn 55 things about your friends, and let them learn 55 things about you.

55 things about the Webkahunah...

1)How old do you wish you were?
367- a century for every year would be nice. Party at my place Feb 5, 2337!

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
on the sofa, about to check my e-mail.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
call the number on the machine and give em a piece of my mind. Thank god we live in an age where anyone can be annoying to another human being anywhere with the touch of a button.

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
depends on what we’re talking about. If it’s about a plaid shirt being worn with striped pants, I will not be kind about it. If we’re talking helping a friend fix a flat tire or paint a nursery, I suppose I am.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
a superman symbol on my left bicep.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
knowing italian would stop those generations of Cerios from spinning in their graves.

7) Do you know your neighbors?
All by sight, about half by name… Keylee and Jack are my favorite ones though:) Best neighbors ever!

8) What do you consider a vacation?
a few hours on the open road, preferably with good company.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
No. The stars have as much effect on my life about as I have on theirs, which is to say none at all.

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
In that I would get up off the sofa and get them a soda from the kitchen, yes.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Sometimes. Depends on the touchee.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
Yes. It is a proven law of physics that a negitively charged particle will attract a positively charged one. Unfortunately, the collision of said particles tends to lead to mutual anniahlation. And spelling errors.

13) Dream job?
Voice over talent for a hit cartoon series

14) Favorite channel(s)?
Sci-Fi and Discovery

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
to my couch for an uninteruppted nap.

16) Showers or Baths?

17) Do you paint your nails?
not willingly.

18) Do you trust people easily?

19) What are your phobias?
I have pretty intense fears of Horses and Death.

20) Do you want kids?
a rug rat or two would be nice, but doesn’t seem to be in the cards.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
Yes. Under lock and key.

22) Where would you rather be right now?
On a beach with a cold beer in my hand, the sun on my tummy, and a beautiful woman on my arm.

23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
Well, I’m warm and fuzzy without any help, so I guess my genetics.

24) Heavy or light sleeper?

25) Are you paranoid?
Only because they’re out to get me.

26) Are you impatient?
I can be. Particularly in traffic.

27) If today was your last day on earth, how would you feel?
Depends on why. If it was the end of the world, pissed. If I was dying to save others, pretty good about it. If I was gonna just drop from some unforseen illness, kinda annoyed.

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
I don’t think that Klingons should be allowed to mate with Vulcans, but other than that I’m pretty okay with it.

29) Have you been burned by love?
Not once, not twice, but thrice.

30) Whats your favorite pick up line?
50lb test nylon fishing line.

31) What's your main ringtone on your mobile?
”basket case” by green day.

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
trudging across the dune sea on tatooine in search of water for my sky bike, while Jennifer Love Hewitt kept trying to get me to listen to some poem she wrote. (stupid dreams!)

33) What did the last text on your cellphone say?
”have I ever told you you’re a sex god?” HA! I wish. It really says “Ok, I’m not going to argue the best superhero, cause that would be futile. But box office? Supes wins hands down. But that does not make it a better movie!” Batman fans are way to easy to mess with.

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My own. Who the heck would admit to otherwise on their blog?

35) What color shirt are you wearing?

36) Most recent movie you watched?

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
Duct tape

38.) What color are your bed sheets?

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
seventeen bucks.

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
The breast, of course. Always been a breast man. My favorite part of any chick :)

41) What's your favorite town/city?
New Orleans

42) I can't wait till:
Superman Returns.

43) What did you have for dinner last night?
Two salami sandwiches and some macaroni salad

44) How tall are you barefoot?
6’2”, and I can do whatever I want to.

45) Do you own a gun?
No, but I do own a B’atleth. I’ll take a Klingon sword over a human pistol any day.

46) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

47) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
”The Look”… which I have not unleashed upon the women of the world since I met Charity, some 10 years ago.

48) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
With so much uncertainty whirling around me, I dunno. I just hope I’ll be happy.

49) Last thing you ate?
More sandwiches… More Mac salad.

50) What songs do you sing in the shower?
”coming to your city” by Big & Rich, “Volare”, and “like a prayer” by maddona.

51) Last thing that made you laugh?
A pidgeon Giving a Nazi Salute. (saw the Producers yesterday)

52) Worst injury you've ever had?
I’ve never had one. I mean, scrapes bruises and such, but I’ve never Broken a bone or had any serious injury. Kinda odd now that I think on it…

53) Does someone have a crush on you?
I’d like to think there are a few… but probably not.

54) What's your favorite candy?
Reese’s peanut butter cups, or chocolate pretzels.

55) What song do you want played at your funeral?
“Faith of the heart” by Rod Stewart.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Thinking of joining hair club for men...

Cause this week has been enough for me to pull out my hair. By that I mean busy, but good busy.

The job is going really well, and i'm learning more about those stupid vents that stick out of your roof than I ever thought I would need or want to... but i'm getting ahead of myself.

This past weekend, I went up to Brandon to see the much blogged about Spiehler Spawn. He's a cute kid, even if he does look a little like a Borg with all those wires hooked up to him. Drew, Dave, and I spent most of the day painting the little guy's room the coolest shade of canary yellow I have ever seen. Props to Mama Stacey for picking it out.

Of course, Dave and I wanted to get a little more creative than that. Dave was of the opinion that painting a mural of Krypton exploding on his ceiling would be cool, wheras I was all in favor of a custom "Dogs of Atlantis" cartoon taking up an entire wall. We were all set to comprimise on filling a few walls with the Gotham city skyline. We had just started getting Drew excited about it when Stacey walked in.

"No." she said, "He'll be enough of a geek with Drew around as it is." She then trudges off muttering something about "pumping", which both Drew and Dave agreed that I didn't want to know about. I was speculating that maybe she had a gas station in the next room when Drew informed me that she was going to go pump some breast milk.

I, being the gentleman that I am, let the subject drop until lunchtime. Right after the terrific pie I had for dessert, when milk was on my mind.

"So, you ever taste it?" I said in my ignorance.

Talk about a conversation-stopping bomb.

"NO!" Stacey said, "Why would I?"

"Well, you're gonna feed it to your kid, right?"

Sigh... maybe it's a good thing I'm probably never gonna be a parent.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Congratulations are in order...

From the Dogs of Atlantis Management:
For all those concerned with such things, it is our privlage to report that Drew and Stacey's Baby, Andrew "Ace" Spiehler III, was born last night at around 10 o'clock. Both Mother and child are doing fine, but in our phone interview with Drew, he sounded pretty freaked about being a Dad. All of us here at Dogs of Atlantis wish the Spiehlers the very best with their new addition, and in celebration of this, we have used the latest technology to give them (and you) a preview of the child at age 25:

Sorry, Ace... baldness is hereditary, as are goofy smiles.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

HAPPY HURRICANE SEASON! (sigh) - New Orleans Update...

Well, here it is, June 1st, roughly 9 months since hurricane Katrina did her dirty buisness, and left the lives of thousands changed forever.

Myself included. I was doing a review of my financial situation the other day, (retirement plans, student loans, and stocks in Hostess Cakes, inc.) and when all is said and done, the storm set me back at least 2 years...

And I was lucky.

Last night, I met with Ronnie and Ducky for dinner. I drove, so I had to run down through the lower 9th ward and into the depths of St. Bernard parish to pick Ronnie up. The lower 9 was the site of one of the levee breaches, and most of St. Bernard took a direct hit from the storm. Here it is 9 months later, and it looked like the hurricane happened yesterday in these parts. As I cruised past destroyed buildings, abandoned cars, and destroyed stadiums I kept saying "holy Hazmat" over and over.

I really need a camera.

By the time I got to Ronnies, I just wanted to get the heck out of there. The devestation was such that it almost made me sick to my stomach.

And here we are, first day of hurricane season 2006. The mood in the city is hard to describe... people are tired of thinking about what could happen again, but at the same time taking this season WAY more seriously than the last one.

Here's hoping it's much ado about nothing.