Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Life is short.

Well, its been another couplea weeks, and I've come to a few realizations:

1) As smart and charming as you think you are, you will always have those moments when you are neither...
2) Cheese goes bad if you leave it in the fridge too long...
3) Life is short.

It's number three I think I'm gonna start on, although the transitory nature of refrigerator cheeses will be worked in here somewhere as well. Number One has a story behind it as well, but I think I may leave that for another day, as it makes me look really stupid. (Not that hard, I know) well, maybe not, as all three are kinda related.

So, anyway... Life is short. I realized this when I grabbed a piece of cheese to snack on from the fridge the other day, popped it in my mouth, and promptly spit it out. (very very stupid- hense revalation #1) okay, show of hands... Who knew that cheese goes bad? don't the french age cheese for like, centuries or something? that must be really, really bad cheese! So anyway, I look at the cheese wrapper, and realize for the irst time in my life that cheese HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE! News to me.
Then again, expiration dates on milk were news to me when I first moved out on my own. (has it really been over ten years?)

True story: My first week out on my own, I was up late, looking for a midnight snack. I walk across the floor of my modest studio apartment over to my even more modest fridge, and open it to find the half-full gallon of milk I bought when I moved in. I open it, take a big swig, and realize that the milk is well on it's way to being cheese. Of course, I spit it out, and promised myself only to buy milk by the quart from then on.

But I digress...

So, it occurs to me, while trying to rinse the foul taste of expired cheese from my mouth, that if I am going to continue to be this stupid in the future, that I may want to start taking better care of myself. After all, the long term effects of expired cheese are nothing when compared to the long term effects of continuous twinkie ingestion. Life is too short, and for all I know, that cheese coulda killed me! So I made up my mind that rather than spend my "morning time" fiddling on the computer for an hour, (I wake up usually at 6:00am, but don't really need to wake up till 7.) I will instead use this time to exercise.

From now on, Honest.

So this morning, I went out for a jog. Yes, a jog. I walked out to the levee, stretched a bit and took off like the wind...

For about 50 yards.

"Just great." I think to myself... "I am so out of shape, that I have to get back into moderate shape just to begin really getting into shape." So, I strolled instead of jogged, for about two miles. I came home dejected, and consoled myself with a little debbie fudge round.

Baby steps, people. Life is also too short not to treat myself to a fudgy snack once in a while.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Status... maybe not quo....

Well, Char has returned from her Grandma's funeral, and it's great to have her back.

Looking at some of the things I've been writing, I realize that this has already started to turn into a "dear diary" sorta blog, and that was never my intent. So today, I think I'll talk about why I want to get back into a weekly (if not daily) writing habit.

Creativity is a very important part of who I am, weither it be making up jokes on the spot, thinking outside the box on the job, speculating as to the future plot twists of my favorite shows, animating things in flash, working on my website, or just weaving a good short story. A month or so ago, I realized it had been AGES since I last put fingers to keyboard in any meaningful fashion.

Never a good thing.

Anyway, so I decided that having this blog would give me an excuse to write on a more regular basis, which is true enough, but I find myself more often enough stuck for a topic to write on. I subscribe to writer's digest's "prompt of the day" but more often than not, it turns out to be something like "go out and buy a book about writing" like that'll get me to write. The things I do think of to write about tend to come out like this entry, all maudlin and such. I think the reason for this is that a typical entry for me isn't really long enough for me to relax and get funny.

Also not a good thing, especially if you actually read this blog on a regular basis. Humor is sometimes a harsh mistress.

What is a humble-yet-longing-to-be-a-pop-culture-icon guy like me supposed to do to fill space on his blog?

Obviously, Run for president.

So, my friends, what you will see here on days that I can't think of what to write is how I feel on the issues, and maybe just a skootch of my plan for a better America. (Not to be confused with my plan for world domination, or my plan to send out for pizza.)

See what I mean? The longer the entry, the funnier I get.

Continuing on the point of this post... A few weeks ago, I went to a movie with some friends, and it was suggested that I should run for president, accompanied by the resounding cheer of aproval from everyone within earshot. Of course, that could have been for the "baby geniuses 2" trailer. (See...This the funny, people!) Anyway, I figure a failed presidential run would look great on my resume, and maybe even make a cool reality show, so I have made up my mind to do it. My peeps have spoken, and they say "Rob for prez". Of course they could have been saying "send Rob for pretzels", but why should I let that stop me?

More to come....

Friday, September 03, 2004

Grandmas and hurricanes

I called my grandmother last night for the first time in years. She lives in florida, you see, and right now there is a catagory four hurricane headed right for her. She's decided to ride it out, and told me my uncle Vinny is coming over there to button up her house good and tight. I hope she's okay. Anyway, it made her night to hear from me, but her first real question was "so is your father still fat?" gotta love the old gal. Also, Charity's grandma is very ill, and my mother in law and Char are riding up to georgia this weekend to visit...

As I get older, I seem to be constantly reminded of my own mortality... I dunno if this is a good or bad thing, but it is definately I will have to explore when I can devote more time to writing about it.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004


Well, here I am, creating my own blog without a darn thing on my mind to say...

I guess I should introduce myself... I'm the webkahunah, and I have created this blog to give myself an excuse to write once a day. I will write whatever strikes my fancy here, be it rants, apathy, obsevation or jokes. Perhaps you will find it entertaining, perhaps you won't.. one thing I will not do is bitch about my job, as I did that once on a previous blog and it nearly got me fired.

Trust me, you don't want to hear about that anyway. I do hope you like my posts, and any comments are welcome.