I was having a conversation with a friend the other day when she pointed out to me that sometimes it seems to her that these pages are written by a different person than the one she knows. “This is true.” I said, not really thinking too hard about it… I have enough to think about to give me headaches for weeks after all. “There is Rob, and there is the Webkahunah.”
“Well, isn’t that a little odd, Rob?” She said, (mind you I’m paraphrasing here) “The Webkahunah sounds like a totally different person than the one I see from time to time.”
I should have just agreed and moved on at this point, but being the glutton for punishment I am, I said “How so?”
“Well, the Kahunah is confident, funny and charming.” She said, “And he’s never the sensitive, caring type. He says some things I could never imagine you saying.”
“Well, it’s easy to be confident, funny and charming when you have an hour to write a few paragraphs.” I said, my ego totally not bruised by this, “I liken it to Clark Kent and Superman. There is Superman, and there is Clark. The real man that is Clark Kent is actually somewhere in the middle… both personas, yet neither. Unique for being both.”
“Rob, I hate to break this to you, but Superman is a fictional character. He’s not real.”
The conversation broke down a bit after that… (I do take the whole Superman thing a wee bit seriously) But an important point was made to me… Is the Kahunah a façade that I put up as a defense mechanism? Maybe… but fortunately, he’s apparently a funny charming defense mechanism, and I think retreating behind him is a lot healthier than some of the defense mechanisms I could have.
I like to think that the “real” Rob writes these pages, but I know that there are times that the Webkahunah persona takes over, and these are generally the funnier entries. It’s a lot like the Comedian taking the stage. I don’t write all that much about things that are really happening in my life, (I mean the deep, psychological stuff that makes us who we are) because these events don’t make for good reading most of the time (welcome to dullsville. population: you).
Would you really care about Andrew Clay’s take on life? Of course not… but back in the eighties, people paid good money to hear the Diceman go on about how women suck. Robert Goldwait probably has a few ferns and a cat named mittens… But the Bobcat is raunchy and funny enough to make you juggle kittens.
There are exceptions in these pages (Times when it’s nothing but Rob). Y’all have heard quite a bit about my ex-wife, my divorce, my ex-mother in law and how hurricane Katrina affected me… but y’all hear the Webkahunah’s opinion a lot more often. I have to admit, I kinda like my “alter ego”. He’s a great guy, if a little crude when it comes to the ladies. I’m kinda proud that he’s rattling around in the infinite morass that is my brain, and I enjoy his approach to the myriad events of my life. I am him… he is me… and we’re both equal parts Hero, Rebel, Lover, Fighter, Comic, Mechanic, Salesman, Scientist, Handyman, Boy Scout, Geek, and just a smidge of goofball.
Does this make me nuts? Nope. It makes me normal.