Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Half thought out blog entries...


Occasionally, I get these ideas for blog entries that seem pretty funny… so I write them down. When the time comes to actually fill the screen with line after line of brilliant comical prose however, these ideas fall a little short. I cite the following examples…

1) I bought a Darth Vader Pez dispenser this weekend at a yard sale. I’ve been chuckling to myself ever since that my candy now is guarded by the power of the Force, and Lauren pointed out how cool it is that my Pez now comes from the dark side of the Force. I considered changing a few Vader quotes to reflect the sheer power of my new toy, but the best I came up with was:

“I find your lack of Pez disturbing.”

I may use the line at the next con as I distribute Pez to the masses with it.

2) Every day on my way to work, I pass a sign for a restaurant that says “World’s Healthiest Pizza”… and every day, it strikes me that that’s a little like being the world’s least pregnant mother-to-be.

Wait… just thought of another one: “The Force is strong with this Pez.”

3) Two Romanian engineers arrived at the plant today to install a new machine for us. Both are named Victor. I think I may have to see if they have a reflection in the mirror.

“Come over to the dark side… together, we will have Pez.”

4) Over the weekend I worked at the company’s booth at the New Orleans Home and Garden show. There I ran into a bunch of people I knew… which is really, really unusual for me. In NYC, that just never happens… and here in the big easy, I haven’t lived here long enough to have an extended network of people I would run into. In any event… one of these people was someone I’ve been trying to avoid (for reasons I won’t go into here) and truly the last person I expected to see that day. I was civil, pleasant and all that stuff… but the entire time I felt like I was gonna hurl. Is that normal?

“The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of Pez.”

5) Yesterday, I found out the name of the cute waitress that brings me my breakfast at the diner I go to. Her name is Faith, and it got me thinking… How ironic is it that I am attracted to women named after virtues (3 Faiths so far, 2 Hopes, and of course my ex-wife Charity) yet I am named after a sin? (Rob, in this case meaning ‘steal’)

“If you only knew the power of the dark Pez.”

6) Angelina Jolie is working on adopting yet another baby form yet another third-world country. (Chad, I think… the country, not the child) That woman really needs to go on a patch or something.

"Meeso thinkin you needing Pez!" wait, that's the other ultimate evildoer in the Star Wars universe...

7) Dad's surgery apparently went well. His roomate was certain of this because my Father is passing gas like a champ.

Like I say... all comical thoughts and observations... none that you can get more than a paragraph out of though. :)

2 comments:

Canardius said...

Ah, Marcus Licinius Crassus Robtavianus, it's funny how those people you want to avoid in life always tend to crop up at the oddest moments. This one you ran into has no idea of the true awesome power of your pez and the wrath that may one day come from it. [Odd, that some are exiled for erupting in such outbursts and others with far greater cataclysmic intensity are tolerated...]

I am glad to hear your father's surgery went well. 60 is too young to have such problems.

Melinda Barton said...

frightens me does your pez. strange your mind is.