Warning: possible violation of the prime directive ahead.
So, I'm having dinner with New Girlfriend and her kids, when her oldest (5 years old) looks up at me with big wide eyes and says, "Rob, you need to be my new Dad."
I look over at New Girlfriend and she's grinning from ear to ear. He doesn't take too everyone, apparently. I look down at him and say politely, "But you already have a Dad, kiddo. He's way more qualified than I am."
He thinks about this for a second, then says "Well, then you need to take lessons."