Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Beware the minds of the youth...

One of the joys of my new Househubby existence is that I get to spend a lot more time with the kids than usual. After getting Pint Size to his bus each morning, I have the pleasure of sitting in the car with Short Stuff for about twenty minutes while we wait for his school to open. Some of the conversations I have with him during this Father-son bonding time are real mind-twisters... like this morning, for instance...

Short stuff was looking around in the cupholder for loose change when he suddenly held up a penny.

"Hey! This penny has Abraham Lincoln on it!" he said, astonished.

"That's right." I said snickering, "They all do."

"We learned about him in class! He's my favorite."

"Really?" I asked, "Why is that?"

"He was very smart, and handsome." Short Stuff said with an authoritative nod.

"You're right... he was a smart guy." I said, "What else did you learn about him?"

"He was very brave, and died a long time ago."

"Do you know how he died?"

"Old age."

"No, Shorty... President Lincoln was shot. He was the first American President to be killed in office."

Short Stuff's eyes went wide with anger. "What? By who?"

"A very bad man named John Wilkes Booth."

This enraged Short Stuff even further. "Well, They need to make him pay!"

"He did pay a long time ago, kiddo. They killed him for killing President Lincoln."

"Well, I need to find him and kill him again!"

"Son... this all happened a very long time ago. He's as dead as it gets."

"No! I need to kill him again so he won't come back as a zombie!"

Right then I was saved by the school bell from laughing in the poor kid's face.


Melinda Barton said...

Hey, the kids right! What if some time-traveling nutjob brings him back from the moment just before he dies? Or what if an Army toxic waste depot leaks sludge into his grave? Or what if some high schooler starts mussing around with the dark magicks? huh... didn't think of that, did ya?

Andrew said...

If Short Stuff would like to continue his education, I've got some great books about Abraham Lincoln on my book shelf... bwah hah hah... hah.