Thursday, February 15, 2007

Breaking News...

Or in this case, not braking sufficiently... In any event, my younger brother is off the Cannonball team. Unless of course, he ponys up the 10 grand... then he can be on it all he wants. I'll even let him be HIM.*

(Sorry, Bro... I just couldn't resist at least one joke about it.)

In other startling news, I am not the father of Anna Nicole's child. Just putting the rumors to rest.

Also, Al Gore can kiss the fattest part of my fanny. Global warming is just a scam to sell more sun block. Not only was the temperature here in sub-tropical New Orleans in the low thirties for most of the day, but Poor Becca up in the northeast won't be driving her Porche till spring thaw after getting an ice storm.

"But Rob!" I'm sure the former VP would say to me if reading these words, "the seas will rise over the next decade by almost 6 inches!"

WHICH EFFECTIVELY MEANS NOTHING! So instead of walking thirty yards from my car to the water at the beach, I'll have to only walk twenty-nine... and then only twenty five to get back to the hot dog stand. That's a good deal for everyone concerned. Even if it was as bad as some of the over the top wackos are saying**, it means longer summers, which means more time for me to scope out hot chicks in bikinis, and more time for said hot chicks in bikinis to get desperate enough for a summer fling to go home with yours truly. Again, a win-win situation.

*this joke makes much more sense if you've watched The Cannonball Run, starring Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise.
**Said over the top wackos are only 'over the top wackos' rather than 'respected scientists' dependant on who's in the white house, and what other polititans think they should be saying... makes me sick to see men of science used to further an agenda.


Andrew said...

Funny stuff. All too often government funded scientists don't get paid to find the truth, they get paid to "find" some evidence to backup the conclusion that someone in the government has already reached. It's not "Find out the extent of global warming if any, and the contributing factors, and what the affects will be", it's "Find out how bad global warming is, how bad it's going to make everything, and how much human activity is to blame while ignoring all other contributing factors".

Jay said...

LOL! I knew I wouldnt get away from it without some kind of joke from ya. Thanks for the call, things have been pretty hectic since it all happened. And just think, I was almost planning on showing up on your doorstep this weekend...guess the universe wasn't into that. ;)

Becca said...

I finally dug myself out of all the ice....^_^