And to round out the week...

Great... so much for my plans of world domination :(



You're so evil, it's cute.
Aww, you think you're evil? That's adorable. We could just pinch your not-so-evil cheeks and pat your friendly little head. You seem like someone who feels massively guilty if you have even the slightest negative thought. If you were really evil, you'd lie, cheat, and hatch diabolical plans without feeling the slightest hint of remorse. It looks like your conscience is leading you down the "good" path, which is great... unless you're planning to take over the world someday.

Remember...Dave asked for more memes...

You know, I joke about this all the time... why, just the other day, I told Short Stuff that if he dumped me into the north atlantic for a few hours, he'd have a "Pop-cicle".



You might've been a passenger on the Titanic.
You have an inner strength and calmness that could have developed during a traumatic past life experience. You seem very protective of the people you love, and you'd do anything to keep them safe from harm. Maybe you were a child's nanny on the Titanic, and your only thought after the ship hit that iceberg was to get the baby onto a lifeboat. If you stay focused in the face of danger, it could be because you developed that ability a hundred years ago on the open sea.

No fair! I wanted to be part of the "couple making out in the woods" that gets hacked apart!

You know, I always thought the fat guy is the first one killed by the axe murderer in a horror movie... this Quiz seems to differ.



When Action Figures Turn Violent
"You devoted your life to acquiring all the dolls, toys and memorabilia you could get your hands on, but ironically, one of your precious collectibles chose to take that life away. Maybe the creepy lady down the block had a garage sale and you accidentally bought a puppet possessed by a murderer. Maybe your new toy robot was programmed to destroy humanity. Or maybe that dirty old clown doll you found on the street really was evil. In a frightening collectible rebellion, the malicious toy tried to sell you on eBay, but then it found out you were more valuable in parts. Not pretty. "

Still, that is so me.

Sweet... bring on the sacrificial virgins!

Lifted from Charlottes blog:



Now, if I could only get in on one of those sweet village "protection" gigs...

The Wedding... (also known as the best day of my life)

Well, it's official... even though at times the entire universe seemed to be trying to stop us, on 8/8/08, Silverfox and I tied the knot in Fountainebleu state park.

I guess that makes the score Rob 1, universe 100,000,000,000.

To Recap: When last we left our hero, he had managed to get officially divorced from psychoex, and skipped merrily from there to the courthouse to get a marriage license. (By my watch, that means I was legally a bachelor for all of 32 minutes, 17 seconds... barely enough time to scratch myself and belch a few times.) The judge at the courthouse waived the requirement for his birth certificate, and the required 72 hour waiting period so that he and his true love could tie the knot all legal- like. On the way home form the courthouse however, further perils awaited our intrepid duo as their faithful truck started making horrible clunking sounds and had to be put down (the rear differential went out... a 7638 to 1 probability).

The next day was spent mostly entertaining my high school chum that had flown in for the wedding, and insisting that Silverfox not stress out about cleaning Casa Kahunah. She met my buddy and I later in Starbucks, after taking the time out to get her hair done. I swear, she looked like her blood pressure was about to make Krakatoa look like a bottle rocket.

"Honey?" I asked innocently, "Why are you stressing so hard about the condo being clean? It's not like the wedding is there."

"No," Silverfox said, "But if your aunt and uncle are coming in from out of town, they'll want to stay there..."

"Look Foxy..." I said, trying to put her mind at ease, "there is no way my Aunt and Uncle are crazy enough to try to make that trip. It's a 22 hour drive!"

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yep." I said, pulling out my cell phone, "Here... let me call them right now so you'll know that Uncle Lou is safe on his couch watching American Chopper."

Except of course, he wasn't. My Aunt Jo, (god love her) had decided that she was not going to miss her godson's second wedding, so she jumped into the car and drove for two and a half days to make it. She intended on just showing up and surprising us at the park, but my Cousin Jessie spilled the beans on the phone when I called.

So, the morning of the wedding was more stressful than I had hoped, but I was still stoked that I was actually going to have some family there. There were a million and one things that needed doing, people that needed rides to the ceremony co-ordinated for them, a bridesmaid that backed out at the last minute due to a death in the family. My brain was racing at about warp 3 and in the middle of it all, I remembered something that I had left undone at work. So I call my co-worker Mama Janet, who had already handled what I had called about, and gave me some advice that would be my mantra for the day:

"At the end of the day, you'll still be married. Just keep reminding yourself that."

We got to the park, and it was a beautiful day... it was overcast enough that everyone was cool and comfortable. Silverfox decided that rather than get hitched on the beach, we should have the ceremony at the pavilion that we rented for the reception. After a few bumps in the road (Confusion about the dress code and the time of the ceremony, our grillmaster coming in at the last minute) Silverfox made herself scarce to change into her wedding dress, while I sat around chatting with my friends and trying not to look nervous:
After an eternity, the Reverend Captain David Brou Haydel greeted our assembled guests with a cheery "Aloha!":Yes, I still look nervous, I know. We had no music as our wedding party approached our makeshift altar or as each of them made a traditional blessing to our wedding, but Dave had everyone hum "here comes the bride" when Silverfox came out of hiding and was escorted by her brother to my side: Boy, Charlotte (lower right) sure looks happy that we're getting married, don't she? to be fair, that is her kid on the table in front of her, about to make a break for it.

To continue...

"Mawidge is the weason we are gaddered here two day. For Wov…True Wov is what this couple found, and they have come here today to unite and take on wife as one force." Dave began, "And if you don't know why that's funny, you're probably at the wrong wedding."Silverfox and I had written the entire ceremony ourselves, and I was really happy when most of our friends said the line "Wov, true Wov" along with Dave.

Dave continued after the laughter died down, making it through the sand ceremony with the kids, adding a few song lyrics of his own, but making it quickly to the vows.

"Cheri, do you take Rob to be your husband, and promise to put up with his stupid jokes, encourage his dreams of being a rock star/super hero/scientist/writer, and just let him win every third argument?"

(big laugh from the crowd)

"I do." She said as I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you also promise to put up with his fanboy obsessions and quirks, let him have the remote and cherish him with devoted love and faithfulness from this day forward to infinity and beyond?"

(another laugh at the Toy Story reference)

"I do."

"Are you sure?"

(another big laugh)

"Yes."

God, she was beautiful... I felt weak just looking at her as Dave began my vows.

"Rob, You have the right to remain silent."

(big laugh from the crowd)

"Anything you say can and will be held against you for the rest of your life. You have the right to cry on her shoulder whenever you need to. If you cannot afford undermining your masculinity in this way, you are allowed to vent your frustrations during your gaming sessions or pre-approved guy nights. Under no circumstances are you permitted to self medicate with street pharmaceuticals, however social drinking will be tolerated in pre-designated rationing.

You can decide at any time from this moment on to terminate this union but fear her wrath and the wrath of all in attendance should you choose to do so. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?"

"I Do."

"And knowing this, to you still take her to be your wife, and to love and cherish her to infinity and beyond?"

"I Do."

At this point... and I swear I am not kidding here... the distant sound of thunder interrupted the ceremony. Everyone laughed at the timing, but I wondered silently to myself if the universe was a little pissed off that we made it to this moment despite everything it had thrown at us. We exchanged rings, and before I could blink, we were pronounced Kahunah and Wahini.

The torches behind us, while most would think were just there to set the mood, served a larger function... one was there to represent Silverfoxes Dad, who passed away a few years ago. The others were there to represent my parents and brother, who couldn't make it down for the ceremony.

Our wedding cake was almost too cute to cut into:
But we did, and it was yummy. The surf board cookies around the edge were wonderful.

The reception was informal, but exhausting... here is pint size falling asleep on a friend of our family as proof...
According to the ranger at the front gate, 50 people attended our wedding... not too shabby for a Friday afternoon.

It seemed like it took forever for Silverfox and I to get to the B&B we had booked for our wedding night, but it was totally worth it. The room was beautiful, and the innkeeper had some snacks and champagne waiting for us.

As we lounged together in the swimming pool outside our room with a blanket of stars above us, I looked at the ring on my finger and realized that Mama Janet was right... here it was, the end of the day, and we were married.

Thank you to everyone that pitched in that day, and everyone that came to celebrate the moment with us. Your thank you cards will be in the mail soon.

Next time, I'll tell you about my Aunts New Orleans adventures, and her first gay pride parade.

Because he is adorable:-)

Pint size refuses to give autographs.

The next party game to grace Casa Kahunah...

This weekend, Silverfox and I decided to use the 70 bucks in Best Buy coupons that were sent to us after she dropped her tax refund on our new entertainment system, and she picked up a new game that I predict now will be a huge hit at our next party.

Rockbandahaulics... are you ready for Singstar?

Now, understand me when I say I LOVE Rock Band. It is the coolest game ever, and they will pry my Fender Stratocaster controller from my cold dead hands when Guitar Hero 4 comes out. (the Guitar Hero 4 vs. Rock Band argument has become quite heated of late around Casa Kahunah) But having said that, I have noticed two problems with it...

One is that we always seem to have a lot of our friends that want to sing, but much fewer that want to pick up the guitar or drumsticks. Singstar is all song, and you can battle head to head with your friends or do duets.

Two, the selection of downloadable songs tends to leave me wanting. True, more come out every week, but when I saw all the fantastic songs available on Singstar my jaw dropped, and my hands reached for Silverfoxs credit card. They have a lot of the 80's songs Silverfox and I grew up on, and even better... while you sing, it shows the original music video for the song in the background.

Just the straight from the box game has a number of great songs on it, most notably "I wanna be sedated" by the Ramones (which I totally served Silverfox on! Go me.), "Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, "Suspicious Minds" by the King, and "All the small things" By Blink 182. As far as downloads go, I immediately and without running it past the woman I love downloaded "Just a Gigolo" by Diamond Dave. (anyone that has seen me do this in Karaoke knows why) With her input (and after much laughter), we downloaded songs by Culture Club, Cyndi Lauper, Duran Duran, and of course Billy Joel. We only stopped because the PS3 lost it's connection briefly.

I also noticed a couple of MC Hammer and Run DMC songs on there, which I would pay cash money to see my friends Mike or Ronnie sing.

So, when is everyone free?

Hmmm....

As many of you know, Mobicon is coming up, and Dave and I were kicking around the idea of a Cannonball Run themed room party. The original plan was to rent an RV and park it in the hotel parking lot for the occasion, but then the ever amazing Dizzy managed to book me a room in the hotel (after I had been assured by the front desk guy that there were no rooms available that weekend, not no way, not no how. Dizzy continues to amaze me.) Eliminating our need for the RV. I still want a clever excuse to go ahead and make that Captain Chaos hood and cape I've always wanted though... all seemed lost. Then I came across this on the amazing thing we call the internet:

The Cannonball Run drinking game.

Whenever the sheik's intro music is played - 1 drink

Whenever the Japanese music is played (to introduce Jackie Chan) - 1 drink

Whenever the James Bond movie comes on (to introduce Roger Moore) - 1 drink

Anytime the Doctor's music comes on (the Doctor in the back of the ambulance) - 1 drink

Anytime JJ (Burt Reynolds) does his famous laugh - 1 drink

Whenever Dom Deluise mentions "him" or "he" referring to Captain Chaos - 1 drink.

If Captain Chaos appears - 2 drinks, and the players must sing "Dunh, Dunh, Daaaah!"

Whenever any girl driver lowers her shirt zipper - 1 drink for each girl that does it

Whenever Farrah Fawcett talks about trees - 1 drink

When JJ speaks like Donald Duck - 2 drinks

When Mel Tillis and Terry Bradshaw drive their car into the pool - 1 drink

Anytime Burt Reynolds slaps Dom Deluise (this includes during the closing credits) =- 1 drink per slap

Any car spins out - 1 drink per car

Anytime the Sheik pays someone - 1 drink

Anytime Mel Tillis stutters:

    If Mel Tillis finally gets the correct word out - 1 more drink

    If he has to change is word - 2 drinks

Anytime Mel Tillis and Terry Bradshaw say, are holding or refer to a "Bud" or a "Beer" - 1 drink

Anytime Dean Martin appears with a drink - 1 drink

Anytime the Doctor sprays or injects his needle - 1 drink

Anytime Sammy Davis says "turkeys" - 1 drink

Anytime the 2 Cannonballers on the motorcycle are shown doing Wheelies - 1 drink

Anytime that both Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise say "Foyt" - 1 drink

Anytime someone is pulled over by a cop - 1 drink

Anytime a new woman appears with Roger Moore in his car - 1 drink

Anytime that Roger Moore stops a woman from pressing a button in the car. - 1 drink.   If the woman presses the button - 2 drinks

When Dom Deluise sings the Dr. Pepper theme - 2 drinks

Anytime you can see Farrah Fawcett's nipples through her shirt - 1 drink

Anytime the Black guy in the pickup truck does an impersonation - 1 drink

When the Lone Ranger theme comes on - 1 drink

During the closing credit bloopers anytime the clicker is clicked - 1 drink.

So, now I'm thinking that we could develop a special drink for shots during this game, call it "the Cannonball Rum" and make up flyers inviting as many people as we can to it, and proceed to rock the hizzy. (Whatever the hell that means) Who's in?

Fun with pictures of friend's kids...

Damn, Stacey... time to get Ace to lay off the Mocha Frappachinos!

Sailing on a sea of Black and Gold...

As you may have heard, Saturday afternoon Dave and I (lucky bastards that we are) got to go to the big game at the Superdome… the playoff game between the Saints and the Philidelphia Eagles.

Now, I normally don’t make too much of a fuss about it, but I’m a big NFL fan. (for my overseas readers, that’s the National Football League. And when I say Football, I sure as heck don’t mean soccer… I mean the game where we inflate a pig to throw at people and then bang into each other like drunken goats) I’m not one of those guys who plops himself in front of the TV every Sunday and watches every single game throughout the season… but late in the season, something inside me just gets all twitterpaited with the excitement of the upcoming playoffs and Super Bowl. Most of my life, I have been a NY Giants fan (go Big Blue Wrecking Crew!) but second to them in my heart for the past 10 years have been the New Orleans Saints. For most of my time living in this city, the Saints have been the quintessential loveable losers… The nice guys who try real hard, but always seem to blow it in the end like in an old Abbott and Costello movie. In short, they were the “Rob” of professional sports without the raw animal charisma. As the end of the season approached this year I was amazed that the Saints hadn’t blown it, and like everyone else in the greater New Orleans area I found myself yelling “Who Dat?” far more enthusiastically than I had in years past.

Problem was, the Giants were looking pretty good too. I actually surprised myself when I breathed a sigh of relief when the Giants were eliminated. I wouldn’t have to root against the Saints… who in addition to playing some superior football, were giving my Katrina-battered Neighbors something happy to talk about.

I say all this so it will come through just how excited I was when Dave offered me the ticket to Saturday’s game. I was beside myself… I did a little victory dance at my desk at work. I let loose a primeval ‘Yaulp’. I giggled uncontrollably like a schoolgirl for hours. I called everyone I knew that I thought would care. Most were happy for me. Others scared their child by yelling “You suck!” into the phone. Loudly. Dizzy’s mom still won’t speak to the “Damn Yankee what thinks he’s a Saints fan.”

I did not care. I was going to the game. “Who’s going to the game?” I would say to myself in the mirror, giving myself a ‘thumbs up’… “this guy!”

I had remembered the hoopla surrounding the Giants’ season (1990) when they went to the Super Bowl, and figured I was prepared for what awaited me when Dave and I arrived at the Dome. I was wrong. The cab let us out almost a half mile from the stadium, because that was where the tailgating began. As we walked closer, the crowds became thicker, a sea of black and gold jerseys upon which we were afloat. Even before the game, we received more than one high-five from faithful Saints fans that were simply delighted that the team had made it this far. We got there about an hour before the doors opened, and strolled through the crowd, people watching while various bands took the stage set up outside, adding to the party atmosphere. Wherever we stopped to rest or just take in the view, some stranger would start chatting with us about how great the Saints have been this season, and how they’ve been coming to games since the franchise started, and how this was their year. The crowd swayed to the loud jazz music coming from the band as they stated playing “I believe/Saints go all the way”, and the party was suddenly in full swing.

Let me tell ya… no one knows how to party like New Orleans. There were folks in costume everywhere… from old standbys like “Holy Moses” and “the Whistle Monster” to a septuplet of Elvi (or is it Elvises?) all decked out in matching black and gold jumpsuits. There was one group carrying around a bald eagle in a noose, at least one witch doctor I saw, and a guy dressed as an incongruant bottle of Duff beer.

Dave would later insist throughout the game that the Duff guy needed to get up and dance or something.

There were also a few Eagles fans circulating in the crowd, followed incessantly by a chorus of “boos” and “hisses”, as well as some more colorful terms I won’t go into here. We were following one such fan around, laughing at the comments of our fellow Saints fans, when the doors next to us suddenly opened, and in we went. Our seats were in a suite (skybox), a new experience for both me and Dave. It was catered complete with food, beer and drinks, so we grabbed a brew and watched the Saints warm up as the Superdome slowly filled. A roving photographer took our picture, ans suddenly I felt like one of the 'beautiful people'. (A fact I would later scream loudly after I got more beer in me) The music was being piped in from the stage outside, and the Steve Miller band took the stage while Dave started pointing out which player was which. I am ashamed to admit that without their uniforms on, I didn’t have a clue.

Predictably, the Superdome filled. The music started. The national anthem played. The game was on. We soon found out that our suite was right next to Deuce McAllister’s family suite, and so we got to hear his family yell at the coach every time they took him out of the game. The game itself has been recounted by better sources than I, so I’ll just skip to the after game fun…

We followed the river of black and gold (a tributary of the sea, apparently) as it made its way down Poydras street (effectively closing the street to traffic) to the French Quarter to celebrate. Dave and I found ourselves suddenly among 10,000 of our closest friends, most of whom were drunk. Everyone that stopped to chat/hug/high-five/scream ‘who dat’ with us, I would say “So, you’re coming with us to Miami, right?” while Dave started going on about renting an RV for everyone and bringing only a Hawaiian shirt, a swimsuit, and a Gumbo pot. After the twentieth time this scene played out, Dave grinned at me and said, “You know, I think we’re gonna need a bigger RV.”

Indeed.

From the Dogs Of Atlantis Management: Rob has a picture of him and Dave (taken by the roving photographer in the skybox) with Reggie Bush in the background warming up on the field below, but the scanner at DOA headquarters has been on the fritz. We will see to it that it gets posted as soon as we can.