Sunday, November 23, 2008

To Short Stuff, at age 26 and Pint Size, at age 23:


Let me apologize now for all the mistakes I'm gonna make in the next twenty years... but I want you both to know that I only had your best interests at heart... I think I'm a fair man, but I am also a worrier and overprotective... but there is no way either of you is getting a car out of me till you're eighteen, and even then, no eating Nachos in the car. Ask your Uncle Chris why.

Short Stuff... Right now you are six, and a lot of fun to be around. Your favorite thing in the world is Star Wars, and your favorite toy is your Legos. Your mother and I joke all the time that you will grow up to be a fanboy like your parents... so chances are you're helping us plan Coastcon 52 right now. You're really smart, to the point where your first grade teacher tells us you have problems in school because you didn't want to pair up with other kids you feel slow down your learning. You just learned how to read books on your own, and your favorite ones are about animals. You also have a great empathy about those around you, and I have a feeling no matter where life takes you, you'll wind up helping people. My guess is that you'll be either a Psychologist or a Vet by the time you read this. I know that whatever you choose, you'll make me proud of you.

Pint Size... Right now you are three and just learning to walk and talk, but you have a wonderful happiness about you that is infectious. Your favorite show is the Wonder Pets, and your favorite nursery rhyme is "itsy bitsy spider". Your favorite toy is an animatronic Elmo that you use to practice your Lucha Libre moves on. You have a fascination with belts and straps, and will play endlessly with one if you get your hands on it. Despite your being a person of special needs, I am convinced that you will be a Scientist when you grow up, because you have a fascination with how the world around you works that I think goes beyond simple childhood curiosity. A lot of people around us that care about you worry about how you will get by as an adult with the challenges that life has presented you, but not me and Mom. We both have a strange faith that you'll do just fine, and make us just as proud as your brother will.

Twenty years isn't as long as it seems at your age. As I write these words, you are already developing the personalities that I know have made you the exceptional men that I know you will become. Your Mom and I are thinking about adding another child to our already unusual family, primarily because of all the joy and laughter you both bring us on a daily basis. I have only been your Stepdad for about a year, but you both mean more to me than I think I will ever be able to express. I hope that one day, you will both choose to take my last name as your own, but I'll totally understand if you choose not to.

Really, just think about it, okay? No pressure... Just remember that you both have several kicks to the crotch coming to you from your old man in revenge for these first years as your Dad, and even if my legs don't work, I'll find a goddamn bat. If you're both Cerios by the time you read this, I may reconsider. Either way, when you have kids of your own, grandpa's gonna spend his weekends teaching them how to take a knee to Dad's groin.

Dad, age 38.

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